Moonshine/White Fist

This a really crappy poem/ballad I had to write for english class. I don't know exactly what to name it still... suggestions are welcome or you can pick from the two there now. Have fun ripping it apart!

Moonshine/White Fist

A dagger glint in a white fist
The moonshine on her nervous face
A true love has been lost
Only left is one trace

A war of the peoples
Boys gone away to fight
The two separated by sea
Her fiancee killed in the night

A car pulled up that day
To bare the news of a boy slain
The look on his torn lover's face
Of pure and utter pain

A dagger glint in a white fist
The moonshine on her nervous face
A true love has been lost
Only left is one trace

The finacee's dagger taken
And placed under the rib
As a lone cry rings out
From the baby left in the crib

Considering all the restrictions (must rhyme, must have refrain, etc.) it's not all that bad. The only reason I gag is because it reminds me of the teacher that assigned it. Ok... I'll critique now:
Your refrain needs a bit of rewording. Here's what you wrote:

A dagger glint in a white fist
The moonshine on her nervous face
A true love has been lost
Only left is one trace

Here's what I suggest:
A dagger glints in a white fist
As the moon shines on her face
Her true love has been lost
And all that is left is one trace.
My reasoning for the changes: you need to give a better picture of what's happening. The refrain just leaves your reader like "what?" You have to have complete thoughts, rather than just whisps and fragments that don't quite get the idea across.
The second stanza is OK, but instead of:

Boys gone away to fight

I recommend:
Stole her boy away to fight.
and the last line just doesn't really fit. If you were to replace is with something like It truly wasn't right and just introduce his death in the next stanza, it would work better.

A car pulled up that day
To bare the news of a boy slain
The look on his torn lover's face
Of pure and utter pain

You have fragments of thoughts again in the last two lines. The first are fine, but the others don't form a complete thought. Try something like:
A car had pulled up that day
To bare the news of her a boy slain.
The look upon his torn lover's face
held pure and utter pain.

The rest, in my opinion, is pretty good. It has a good effect and an interesting element of surprise. Good job. The teacher would be amazed.