Family Tree

I am a tree.
I am a source of life.
I stretch my arms far enough to provide shade for the tired.

I use by body and energy from the sun to give birth to my children
So that I may provide food for the hungry.

I am a pheonix.
But instead of fire, I use the seasons
For my transformation and rebirth
As I let my clothes shed off during the harsh winter
And come back to life through the pouring water of Spring
And the growing period of Summer

I am fearful
Of those who walk the earth
And try to destroy my family within this forest

I am dying
By the hands and sweat of the "others"
The ones who have killed my brothers and sisters
And have not given back life to me as I have for them

I am a tree.
Help me for I am being murdered
By the harsh blows of mankind!
The harsh blows of the axe running through my trunk
A trunk that was once a home to my fellow neighboring creatures within the forest

Help.
I am dying.
I am losing my might to live.
I warn my brothers and sisters who are still breathing
For this forest is no longer home
But the destruction of real life.

I am a tree.
I am dead.


There you have it. This is an original poem by yours truly. Please leave your constructive criticism below and tell me your thoughts. Anything I should improve on? Thankyou.

Hi there! I'm Luxe and I'm gonna review this for you. So, I just wanted to start of and tell you that I'm not much of a poet. So my critique won't be much on the structure and what not. But anyway.

I really loved your poem! I thought that you really- and this is going to sound cliche- became the tree. You went through the life of the tree really well, except I think you should include something about the 'birth' of the tree. Like when it's a sapling. Also, I think you should add more about living. It's very death-heavy and could use some more in the middle. Again, this is mostly just content stuff. I'm not very good at writing poetry. All in all, I'd say you have a pretty good poem here. I like it lots! Keep writing.

Cheers,
Luxe

Great poem! I like how you use repetition to empathize that the tree is dying. I think the ending was a little short, but very emotional! Keep up with the poetry. Especially with the emotions and imagery.

Good job,
Deathcurrent

This is great. I like the metaphoric language, like when you said that you are a phoenix, although you spelled phoenix wrong I think. It's a good comparison, symbolizing revirth and renewal and spring. Also, I thought that the title was pretty good. I'm not much of a nit-picker type of reviewer, so if you want all the spelling errors in stuff, you won't find them here. But I can say that this is a good poem and you have talent. Keep up the writing and good luck.