Demise of Valiance

They caught him, the one black as pitch, and held him against his will.
He shudders amidst the fences, despondent and degraded, hanging his head.
Why won't they just set him free? Why would they choose this for him?

He was a king once, the most valiant stallion of them all.
He ran swiftly as an eagle flies, the ground rushing away beneath him,
his mane whipping behind him like blazing tendrils of flame.
His strength was undefied, his pride undefiled, his heart unbroken.
He was a prince among the wild ones, a lord of the beautiful creatures.
Sweltering within his eyes was the spirit of those who know no fear,
an untamed thing: rough, raw, unbridled and uncaressed by man.

Snaring him with the searing ropes of imprisonment and bondage,
they degraded him, making him a mere corpse, a shell of his former self.
They slayed the seething beast he was and stole away everything he loved,
standing triumphantly as they witnessed the fall of what they had captured.
Fancying themselves masters of everything unpredictable and foreign,
they bestowed upon him a life he had done nothing to deserve.
They killed what he was and had always been, a spirit free to roam the earth.

And now he stands, a spectacle of the demise of everything free.
The onlookers cheer in raucous pleasure at the misery of his imprisoned soul.
How proud they are of their latest prey: a creature undeserving of such an indignity.
Never again will he rove the earth that he once ruled.

I got the picture of this poem and it is nor much detailed. It was good. Keep om writing.

hi! I'm here to review!!!

They caught him, the one black as pitch, and held him against his will.
He shudders amidst the fences, despondent and degraded, hanging his head.
Why won't they just set him free? Why would they choose this for him?

I'm not a big fan of these kinds of poems. Way to chunky. I think you'll find other people don't either.

They caught him,
the one black as pitch
And held him against his will.
He shudders amidst the fences,
despondent and degraded,
hanging his head.
Why won't they just set him free?
Why would they choose this for him?

That is so much easier on my eyes.

He was a king once,
the most valiant stallion of them all.
He ran swiftly as an eagle flies,
The ground rushing away beneath him,

I love this line.

Snaring him with the searing ropes
Of imprisonment and bondage

Another nice line.

The only problem I had was the chunkiness. Cutting lines in half ^like I showed above will help you.
I see that your new, so if you ever need any help, let me know! I'll help you out in anyway you need.

~Drama

They caught him, the one black as pitch, and held him against his will.
He shudders amidst the fences, despondent and degraded, hanging his head.
Why won't they just set him free? Why would they choose this for him? I think you should cut the second question. "Why won't they just set him free?" is so much more powerful on it's own.

He was a king once, the most valiant stallion of them all.I love the comparison.
He ran swiftly as an eagle flies, the ground rushing away beneath him,
his mane whipping behind him like blazing tendrils of flame.
His strength was undefied, his pride undefiled, his heart unbroken.
He was a prince among the wild ones, a lord of the beautiful creatures. I would change " the wild ones" to just "the wild". It's cleaner, and flows better.
Sweltering within his eyes was the spirit of those who know no fear,
An untamed thing: rough, raw, unbridled and uncaressed by man.
I love this stanza. The imagery is breathtaking, the description is wonderful, and it's just so good

Snaring him with the searing ropes of imprisonment and bondage,
They degraded him, making him a mere corpse, a shell of his former self. "making" upsets the sound of it a bit. Try a different word.
They slayed the seething beast he was and stole away everything he loved,
Standing triumphantly as they witnessed the fall of what they had captured.
Fancying themselves masters of everything unpredictable and foreign,
They bestowed upon him a life he had done nothing to deserve.
They killed what he was and had always been, a spirit free to roam the earth. Ooh, this sentence is great. Very powerful.

And now he stands, a spectacle of the demise of everything free.
The onlookers cheer in raucous pleasure at the misery of his imprisoned soul.
How proud they are of their latest prey: a creature undeserving of such an indignity.
Never again will he rove the earth that he once ruled.
Great take on human cruelty here. It's so hopeless and sorrowful and haunting, which makes it very powerful. You've definitely left an imprint of me; I'm going to go ponder this soon. You're an amazing poet. I like how the sentences are longer then typical poems, so it's almost prose, but not quite. It has the beauty and power and artistic touch of poetry, with the articulation and story of prose. Keep writing!
Love,
Sierra