Loose Change

He is the lonely stranger that travels everywhere.
The parasite carried by greedy hosts.
The simplicity of something so complex.
He has a perfect home behind him,
But he doesn’t want to live anywhere.
A hard-core hobo.

He is the scholar perceived as worthless.
He is as if he knows the truth to a thousand lies.
Maybe he does.
He speaks both Latin and English,
But he only knows a few words of each.

He is the spy in disguise.
His worn, copper coat covers him like armor
For the most terrifying journeys.
Along the way he absorbs information,
Collecting bits and pieces,
He is solving the mystery.

But all you see is a penny in the gutter.

I like it, though I don't completely understand the last line and I feel like it could have more rythm. Another great poem by Cammie. I think you should have more one-word-per-line-stanzas other than at the beginning, to make it fit in more.

This is a better piece than your one about the raindrops. A much better, more interesting topic. You had some really good lines in there too. Some good allusions and metaphors. One thing I think you could change is remove the description. It's a dead giveaway. Like I said earlier, you want to make your poem a puzzle, and the description gives it away too soon and too easily.

The penny's backdrop is the Lincoln Monument, not the White House. So, there's that.
Also, Lincoln's is the only face that faces right, instead of left, as most coins face. This is because the left side of his face had a condition called cranial facial microsomia. This made the left side of his face smaller than the other. Perhaps you could mention that, because he does face backwards.

He stares straight ahead, never looks back.

This is factually incorrect, unless you are talking about the reverse of the coin, in which, in the most recent pennies, the Lincoln Monument, (with Lincoln barely noticeable) is depicted.
I didn't really like the poem, it seemed quickly done, with not much thought.

I kind of agree with tgirl because the last line was a bit of a downer for me too. One of the main things for me though is the fact that if I didn't know the title I would be thinking what-in-the-world-is-this-supposed-to-be-about. Some people might think that it is okay that it's like that but I'm one of those people that just HAS to know what something is actually about without reading the title. But then again that's just my opinion. Keep writing

This poem was very interesting to read. Very creative. You turned a boring subject into a mysterious story, and I applaud you for that. The imagery was also great, though it kept changing suddenly.

In the first stanza, the one word lines were cool, but didn't really fit with the rest of the poem. Also, I don't really understand how they describe loose change; I've never thought of it being captive or anything of the sort.

The second stanza is nicely written and gives an ominous feeling, with the last line adding a little humor.

I don't understand the third stanza to say anything about it.

The last stanza is worded with some brilliantly chosen words. After pieces, however, should be a semi-colon.

The very last line of the poem has an air of finality, which is important to capture.

Everything else has been said above.

Keep up the nice work.
--Brandon
Xoxo

I liked this poem. It was shorter than your other one 'Stranger' but they were both connected at in the fact that they were about objects. I think that you have mastered poems about objects You are really good at writing those, hopefully you'll write more on that subject!

As usual with your writing, I cannot spot any flaws. I will state my favourite verse though:

cammie wrote:He is the lonely stranger that travels everywhere.
The parasite carried by greedy hosts.
The simplicity of something so complex.
He has a perfect home behind him,
But he doesn’t want to live anywhere.
A hard-core hobo.

That is a beautiful opening verse, I love it so much. I think your end verse was not as strong as your opening one though. My favourite line in that verse is the second. Really well done.

Deanie x

I am IN LOVE with this poem. The metaphor is awesome. I also think it's an awfully original idea. Great job!

He is the scholar perceived as worthless.
He is as if he knows the truth to a thousand lies.
Maybe he does.

I don't understand the part about the truth of a thousand lies. Like he's (it's) always there to see the truth? It seems out of place.

He speaks both Latin and English,
But he only knows a few words of each.

So clever! I love this line.

His worn, copper coat covers him like armor
For the most terrifying journeys.

I also liked this metaphor. Armor is a fitting thing here, is it not?

And the end line is very good, it leaves you with something to think about. I'm impressed. Keep on writing, this was brilliant.

Hi there!

All right, a poem written entirely as a metaphor, can't wait to read it! My comments are in red below.

cammie wrote:He is the lonely stranger that travels everywhere. And the metaphor begins.
The parasite carried by greedy hosts. This is an amazing comparison. I love it!
The simplicity of something so complex. Some confusion added in here, cool!
He has a perfect home behind him,
But he doesn’t want to live anywhere.
A hard-core hobo. Great line! It made me laugh, but only because of how you wrote it. I'm trying to picture a hard-core hobo right now.

He is the scholar perceived as worthless.
He is as if he knows the truth to a thousand lies. This line sounds very awkward to me. Actually, I really don't know what this line is saying. Sorry, this doesn't really help much, does it?
Maybe he does.
He speaks both Latin and English,
But he only knows a few words of each.

He is the spy in disguise.
His worn, copper coat covers him like armor
For the most terrifying journeys.
Along the way he absorbs information,
Collecting bits and pieces,
He is solving the mystery.

But all you see is a penny in the gutter.

This was a great poem! I really enjoyed it. The whole thing is one giant metaphor, which I love! Great job with this. Keep writing!