The Girl in the Desert

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I saw her, in the driest of deserts, hair wild
as a flame in the wind.

She stood atop the dune, a queen, staring
at the smiling sun that sank quietly.

I did not see her face; she had her back to me.
But her bare shoulders were enticing enough.

Her silky, blood red trousers wriggled in the breeze,
her feet gulped by the sand,

so that she looked like a lonesome plant,
forever distant from anything.

As the sun drew the painting of dusk onto
the sky's orange, she turned.

She could see me see her; I did not know whether
to approach or to fear her.

What I did know, though, was that her face possessed
a glimmer of magic that spun me into a web of lust.

Brows, brushed thinly like the sky brushed its clouds,
and emerald eyes that entered me.

A nose that belonged to the Sphinx of the Desert;
I would have tortured to touch it.

Ears just large enough to be called so, or maybe
it was her hair that covered them so petite.

And lips; lips as luscious as whipped cream,
delicately soft and perfectly moist.

She pierced me with her gaze, but little did I know
that in a moment, I stood just two inches

away from her, my own nose stroking hers. She really
was a seducing sorceress.

And before we knew it, the Sun kissed the Earth with
uncontrollable passion. And the Earth licked back.

I slipped into the night with her like my feet
slipped deeper into the sand;

slow, fluid, and with a shimmer of the unknown.
Last edited by danipower0204 on Wed Aug 17, 2011 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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wow this was fantastically written! i loved how you described each feature of the girl, and your poem had great imagery!!! i also liked how you described the earth and sun's kiss. "her feet gulped by the sand. "at the smiling sun that sunk quietly" i think the proper word is "sank" but i am not sure. "as the sun drew the painting of dusk" was my favorite line because i could really imagine dusk being a beautiful painting! thank you so much for sharing and keep up the great writing!!! :)




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wow. you really have used great words and described through creative details about this woman. By your choice of words made it seem as though she has so much power over the male without him even realizing it, which make it an intresting poem to read.




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Points 1198
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Thanks for the replies guys!
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This was very enchanting. I really like image your words create. Though this was spontaneous, keep in mind that you don't have to use fancy metaphors to make the poem stand out, you? Sometimes mixing simple words with 'pretty' ones work. I really liked this though. You're a very talented poet. :)
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.



The words you speak become the house you live in.
— Hafiz