I walk it. I talk it. I even look it. This silly apron is nice…does it make my backside look big? Anyway, cleaning, cooking, and trying to discipline the kids. These things never seem to work. I’m just not scary enough. Why don’t they just love me enough to obey me? Why must I always say those words, “Just you wait until your mother gets home!”
Overall It was a good piece, but there were a few flaws. I loved how I could relate to exactly what you were saying, most of the time. I feel as if you could have put more emotion into it.
One day life will come back and if you have been going throughhell, it will give you a slice ofheaven.
Hahaha I found the last part hilarious! Man do i know how that feels! -__- But why was it so short?? I didnt quite get the goal you were trying to pass out her. :/ Either way, nice piece! Keep up the good work!
This is a good piece. I can relate to this because I babysit and I feel this way about the kids I look after. You put a lot of emotion into this piece. You packed a lot of emotion and meaning into a little bit of words.
Overall good job with this. Keep writing!
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.
Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!
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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." -- Steven Wright
To answer the question about the size of the piece, the contest asked for the work to be 150 words or less. I opted for the "or less." I figured that short and sweet would be the best approach to keep the vague part of the writing until the punch line.
'This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.' — Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Man do i know how that feels! -__- 
