Could It Be...

6 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1520
Reviews 28
I had my mind set on something

A dream that now seems so far out of my reach

So far that it's out of my eyesight

Out of my hearing

And out of my dreams



There was a time where I had everything planned out

I had complete and total control over everything that happened in my life

Nothing could ever catch me by surprise



My eyes were open

My ears were clear

And nothing,

Absolutely nothing

Brought fear



But now I wonder what I have

Now I ask myself what's changed

I see everyone around me growing up

I know everyone around me is getting better

But not me



What do I need right now

Am I searching for some love interest

Or just missing some important part of me



I don't know what I need to search for

Hope for

Dream for

Pray for

I don't know what I need



Could it be that I've already found it?

Hidden somewhere deep inside of me?
Life is what's left when everything is taken from you.




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Beautiful! Absolutley beautiful! Your poem has such a deep, strong message that I got it immediatley (which is rare with me and poetry). I love it! I can't find anything to critique! Good job!




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Points 1040
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I love this poem because I can deffinitely relate to it and I think others can as well. It was extremely well written and elegantly described to the reader how the subject almost doubts themself and feels like their missing something that everyone around them understands. Really enjoyed it!

DropsOfSummer




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Points 300
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it was great It was a depp poem that had lots of feeling




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Points 1198
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Wow, this totally applies to my life right now. Have you read my feelings? My thoughts? This is crazy. I am also stuck in this situation. Wow...

Anyway on to the review. You are telling us a whole lot, not showing. I would probably describe my life right now something like a black void, an empty bucket, a dark, deep hole which has not felt the water of life yet. Something like that. Your poem is very literal. I mean, it's simple, and that's alright. But it could be better. Or could it? Haha

Good luck and keep on writing.
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User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1520
Reviews 28
*blush*

Awww thank you guys! It's been such a while since I've even added poetry on here, I'm glad that I've broke my posting fast and had so many great responses.
Life is what's left when everything is taken from you.



Live your life how you want, but don't confuse drama with happiness.
— Ron, Parks & Rec