Meltdown

Why can't I sleep!
It's nearly two A.M.
And everyone can't keep their sanity.

Oil is now running lower than low,
And in my heart continuous flames only burn.
Is my whole world just made up of lies?
I only ask to feel some peace and ease in return.

I feel your neck break by my hands in this twisted dream.
And a red glow from the sun that covers you completely,
As I watch as you lay still unable to scream.
Tears in my eyes are painfully disarming me...

Take me to the core so I can die.
I'll gladly dive in with my headfirst.
I wanna fly.

As each ray of light surrounds my flight,
Enveloping my whole body.

Take me to the core so I can die.
I'll gladly let you push me headfirst,
And then I'd cry.

With all these sins that pollute my soul, I'll never see a miracle.

I hear the sound of footsteps running up the stairs,
To where this crowd is now heaven bound.

The sun's melting the cloudy skies,
burning through the window of glass and this afternoon.

I watch the sky as it softens with light, and as it turns bloody red.
In the swollen twilight,
Is the whole world only dead in my eyes?
'Cause all I see are pale unconscious souls as they rise.

I feel your neck break by my hands in this twisted dream.
And in the wind I'm smelling a fragrance like spring cherry blossoms.
My words are spoken by colorless lips that only whisper, desperately trying to scream.

All these memories are whitening,
But I don't think it's frightening.

Take me to the core so I can die.
I'd gladly dive into numbing dreams,
So full of tenderness.
It's like my younger years
'Cause sleep comes so breezily and easily


Time is ticking by to the beat of my now restless heart.
And I don't know why.
The laughs I hear are all fake.
Like I'm watching a TV Show,
No matter how I beg,
The voices won't let go.

I don't want the ringing that blurs my pain to stop.

Every soul that is trapped in this broken dream fades away.
And at midnight, instead of a prince, I get a throbbing nightmare.
The world that I once loved fades to gray....

Why can't I breathe?
I'll be born when this world of ours ends.
'Cause I'd be gone without any pain, while this world circles 'round the drain.
All my anger will be gone with me.
I won't wonder what the future will be.
Because by then I'll have found my place,
as all the gears of my mind combine.
The perfect world for which I leave,
I do believe,
Will still wait for me.

Oh Beautiful!!!

Why can't I breathe?
I'll be born when this world of ours ends.
'Cause I'd be gone without any pain, while this world circles 'round the drain.
All my anger will be gone with me.
I won't wonder what the future will be.
Because by then I'll have found my place,
as all the gears of my mind combine.
The perfect world for which I leave,
I do believe,
Will still wait for me.

By the time I ended readed this poem I knew I was not on a level to rate this or criticize this. This one is simply awesome. Especially the above lines.... Beautiful....

I like this one very much. I enjoy reading dark poems and songs like this and I this was very well written, indeed. I especially liked this part

I feel your neck break by my hands in this twisted dream.
And in the wind I'm smelling a fragrance like spring cherry blossoms.
My words are spoken by colorless lips that only whisper, desperately trying to scream.

Ah I see that your new! Welcome to the site, my name is Flower and I will be your reviewer for the evening.

First off I'd like to say I didn't really understand this, it just kept jumping around from thing to thing and didn't really hold a place.

In stanza one you go from sleep to sanity. Well usually this is an ok jump but your words didn't fit. It doesn't have to rhyme but to me in poetry flow is a big deal. I don't like the word and on the last line, actually the last line threw me off altogether. It doesn't have anything to do with the first two lines.

On the second stanza this is reminding me of a car, I think that's what threw me. In poetry you want to avoid words that aren't needed. The lower than lower part wasn't needed in this line. It made the line drag out longer than was intended I'm sure. I would change the second line to In my heart flames burn continuously or something like that. I dont really understand it though because if you are low on oil how is it burning. The next line doesn't go with what you said before it so I don't really know what it means, also on the last time in return for what. You need to answer the questions that you are forming in your poem.

The next stanza was somewhat jumbled. I mean the first line I had to read twice just to understand and then you bring in a sun that has no purpose. You have to make sense you are writing like it should just be thrown out there and it's not being thrown anywhere but to confusion.

Next stanza if you don't mind being thrown in head first then why would you want to fly out?

Next line breaks your stanza pattern and we don't know what miracle you speak of.

I like your descriptions from then on I think the begining is a little shady though. I hope I'm not being harsh if you don't agree with me or need anything you can always pm me. I hope I helped.

Flow