A Kashmiri's Dream

A KASHMIRI'S DREAM

We have seen a dream and we will live it
yes,we will live it and strive to make it true

we have seen a dream of freedom
we will win, for we are with the truth

and the truth is with us, we have faith
and when there is faith, there is no fear

for years we have been trampled
for ages have we been discriminated

we will rise to a new sun, we will rise
in front of the oppressors, so that they burn from within

so that they remember the days they killed us
when we had demanded our basic rights

so that their stone hearts will feel
the pain which the agonized mother did feel

when her son was killed by them
and when her house was burnt

will they not then realize
no! but their hearts are covered

like the wild mists cover the sky
like the smoke that passes by

we will rise as the sun rises
so that men watch us with awe

and take us as an example
and make us their icon

we will rise and reach the farthest horizons
we will make our mark in the sands of time

so that some day in future, men will remember us and say
"yes they were kashmiris and trampled by the oppressors

yes! they were without any guide. But they rose and fought
and won though they were without any might."

We will live this dream, we will fight
we will live this dream, in front of their sight

they claim affection towards us, just to please
but how can they cure if they don't know the disease

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A bit of background:

Kashmir is a state under India's Occupation. The life of common people here is hell. I being a Kashmiri know the feelings of the people here. We want freedom and we only want freedom.
This poem is the ground reality of Kashmir. Youth are arrested here and then killed in custody. Their mothers die of agony and misery. In fact there is a UNION OF FAMILIES OF Disappeared PERSONS here.

Hi!

So, I'm a little touched by this. Becuae when you say

but how can they cure if they don't know the disease

the truth in it makes me heavy. I will honestly say until now, I never realized that there are so many layers to Kashmir. I live in the state geographically opposite to Kashmir and I've always pictured it as a beautiful place. Don't misunderstand me, please. This isn't ignorance, it's simply that the information has never reached us.
Onto to the poem - I'm not poetry critiquer, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I miss the punctuation. It's not that I am against punctuation-less poetry, but I think your poem would read nicer if it did have commas and full-stops.
I loved the beginning however, right before the very end, the flow seemed to be a bit off. it was more like forceful sentences coming out, which is fine, but it could be a little more structured.

Good luck!

P.S. Hi! Nice to meet another Indian!

~Lava

I think this is a very strong poem - more than your others. I think what you wrote about Kashmir made me feel the poem much more and it also made it hurt. I actually felt like I was living it. Well done and I hope your state becomes peaceful and all of you get the freedom which you dream of.

Yes, I know what you are talking about.Even though I don't actually live in Kashmir I know all about oppression and the struggle and want for freedom.I am glad you posted this and I really like the main theme and how you describe the situation.Sorry, no other constructive criticism.Don't think I helped much.Anyway keep writing.

.... July4Ruby ....