Holy Wild

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There is a place
For that I yearn
The path of which
Untraveled

Untouched by men
A quiet stage
There my soul
Will sing

If ever my heart
can finds its peace
In creation's
Holy wild

Then I will be
The truly blessed
A man of which
Is free.
Last edited by Everett on Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Freedom is the right to say that 2+2=4
-George Orwell, 1984




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Wonderful poem, that's all there is to it. It has a great concept and it flows well. You kept up the pattern for each stanza and you were able to evoke a yearning emotion. Epic! Keep of the great work!
When I give up, I'm not showing weakness.
Sometimes, I'm just showing enough strength to move on.




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Hi there Everett. I don't have much to say, I guess. Lol. Just that the poem would look better with commas. :) But I think you did a good job.

Everett wrote:If ever my heart
can finds it's peace

I think the it's should be its'?

P.S. Welcome to YWS. Hope you like it! ^_^
Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego

"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."




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I like it/the overall sentiment. Just wanted to say I think the "There my soul" line could benefit from an extra syllable for rhythm's sake. Also I think it ought to be "for which I yearn" unless I'm misunderstanding (which is highly possible). Hmm...and speaking of the word "which", about the last two lines--a man of what exactly?

Oh, "which is free" is a noun phrase. That wasn't apparent at first. I don't see any other comments about it so maybe I'm just dense...



I'm officially making it my goal in life to become a roomba. I want to be little robot. I want knives taped to me. I want to be free.
— TheMulticoloredCyr