An Adventurer's Faith

Okay, this all started writing an 'about me'. xD P.S. A friend choose the title. Lol.

I'm not from 'here',
neither from 'there'.
What they call roads
is not my place.

All my heart wears
is Jesus' love.
And my mind carries
faded pictures along.

Walking through woods,
I make my way,
Breaking the vines,
and eating their grapes.

I kick the rocks as I pass by,
collect leaves of hope to make a bed.
When I get tired and there's lack of light,
I cling to faith and there I rest.



So this poem means a lot to me, personally. And I thought I'd translated cause everything seems mysterious.Hahah.

Spoiler

"I'm not from 'here',
neither from 'there'."
What I mean by this sentence is that I never stay anywhere. I'm a traveller.

"What they call roads
is not my place."
I don't walk on the path other people did. Like for example, I don't care about what people says, I'll always be myself, even if it's harder because of society.

"All my heart wears
is Jesus' love."
By this one I meant that God is the center of my life.

"And my mind carries
faded pictures along."
By this, I obviously meant to say that I have memories of the places where I've been. It may look a little random, but I wanted to show what was on my mind and what was in my heart.

"Walking through woods,
I make my way,"
This is what I explained earlier, about not walking on the road.

"Breaking the vines,
and eating their grapes."
When you walk through the woods vines can be a problem, 'cause they stuck you. In this line, I use vines as a metaphor for problems, but I take advantage of it and learn something, that's the grape.

"I kick the rocks as I pass by,"
I get rid of what's not wanted and might make me trip.

"collect leafs of hope to make a bed.
When I get tired and there's lack of light,
I cling to faith and there I rest."
When I get tired I rest on hope with faith, it's not literally. xD

This is beautiful. A style of free form, yet seems that the meaning is only of faith- strong undoubted faith- that the writer has locked away in a very special room in her heart. As for the last stanza, I feel strongly about keeping the last two lines. Beautiful. You are very talented. I personally can not think or anything about the second line (last stanza), but the first one could potentially be changed.
The last two lines of the third stanza, I would either change it to, "Breaking the VINE, and eating it's grapes," or "Breaking the vines, and eating THEIR grapes," but again, just a suggestion.
If this all about you, kudos, you sound like a good person

The first thing I would do is get rid of the intro. I don't know why, but if you start with all sorts of disclaimers it just gets the reader nervous. And the last stanza doesn't need help; it was perfect. If you want to write a note I suggest writing it at the end of the poem.
That being said, the poem itself was lovely and a lot better than I expected. I only had a problem with this stanza:

Solvalery wrote:All my heart wears-
is Jesus' love.
And my mind carries-
faded pictures along.

I think if you just removed the hyphen after both phrases it would be fine. But I also think you could do a little better than "faded pictures along." I'm sorry I can't think of any suggestions but I feel like I need something a little more vivid than just faded pictures.
Besides that, it was just a magnificent little poem. I'm glad you stopped yourself from going on and on; it seems like it would be tempting to expound upon all the things that make you you.
Great job being beautiful and concise with your poetry. Keep writing.

Solvy! This is crazy! I wasn't expecting it.

I'm not from 'here',
neither from 'there'.
What they call roads
is not my place.

So, first of all neither should be nor. Second of all, I love that you took something cliche and vague and made me think about it by adding "what they call roads/ is not my place". I'm not sure if you meant to add extra dimension by insinuating that you think of the "what they call roads" as a THIRD place, singular, but it does work. It works very well and opens that new space for the reader that they might not have considered before.

The images as you progress through the rest of the poem are all simple and clear. I can see the faded pictures (I imagine those hipster polaroids), the vines, the grapes, because they are simple things. I know what a vine is. I know what a grape is. I watch you walk, carrying Jesus's love and the pictures, memories, polaroids. I know you're moving through the woods and that seems to be all I need.

So everything's nice. It's solid. It's clean. But I don't think I'll remember it for very long.
What it's missing is something special. Maybe something specific. This is about you, isn't it? What are the grapes to you? Why do you kick the rocks? What are the pictures that you see? I don't mean to tell you to go on and on about specifics and get into every little nook and cranny, but a few well-chosen and specific words can add a whole new dimension to this poem.

Consider what you can tell us that makes YOU different from any other girl walking through the woods, loving Jesus, and laying down in evening.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Hannah

Thanks for the reviews everyone.

So this poem means a lot to me, personally. And I thought I'd translated cause everything seems mysterious.Hahah.

"I'm not from 'here',
neither from 'there'."
What I mean by this sentence is that I never stay anywhere. I'm a traveller.

"What they call roads
is not my place."
I don't walk on the path other people did. Like for example, I don't care about what people says, I'll always be myself, even if it's harder because of society.

"All my heart wears
is Jesus' love."
By this one I meant that God is the center of my life.

"And my mind carries
faded pictures along."
By this, I obviously meant to say that I have memories of the places where I've been. It may look a little random, but I wanted to show what was on my mind and what was in my heart.

"Walking through woods,
I make my way,"
This is what I explained earlier, about not walking on the road.

"Breaking the vines,
and eating their grapes."
When you walk through the woods vines can be a problem, 'cause they stuck you. In this line, I use vines as a metaphor for problems, but I take advantage of it and learn something, that's the grape.

"I kick the rocks as I pass by,"
I get rid of what's not wanted and might make me trip.

"collect leafs of hope to make a bed.
When I get tired and there's lack of light,
I cling to faith and there I rest."
When I get tired I rest on hope with faith, it's not literally. xD

Hey There

I really loved this poem of yours really gives a person alot to think about. Like what kind of center of life we have or the paths we walk through in life.
I do, however, think that you shouldn't have translated, simply for the fact that everyone has a different perception to the writing; some make take this to heart, others may not. And it also gives the reader more room to add in more details or questions of their own without having your perception in mind, although it is a good perception.

I kick the rocks as I pass by,
collect leafs of hope to make a bed.
When I get tired and there's lack of light,
I cling to faith and there I rest.

this was the gem of it, and my favorite part. You gave this part a detailed message using scenery as the main helper here. What I mean by this is that you used the objects of rocks and leaves and other things of nature to create a picture of someone laying down in a bed of leaves and other things of the sort.
I also liked how you centered this piece about a Traveler or someone looking for adventure because this is one of the best topics. The reason why i say this is because everyone finds different things considered adventures and its a broad topic, but you settled this one in kind of a woodsy feel; somewhere where nature is very potent.

Walking through woods,
I make my way,
Breaking the vines,
and eating their grapes.

This part kind of confused me because I don't really think that grapes grew in the wild, i thought they had to be planted. but i could be wrong! This part also gave me the vision of either walking down some kind of path, toward a destiny or fate of some sort. Or walking through the forest blindly and simply enjoying the wilds you may encounter.

Overall, though, you built this piece up quite nicely and it had a great ring to it, and a sort of rhyme scheme. You could have used a little more sensory details to help personify the m.c more or the details of the forest around you.
Wonderful piece, Sol!

--Ash

I really liked this poem, but I feel the last stanza doesn't have as much flow as the other ones. Good job, though
-tgirly

Sol, this is excellent. The only thing that bothers me is that the plural of "leaf" is "leaves". But hey, engles es loco.

Hermano! Hahaha! I don't know how I missed that one. xD Thanks, wabbit! ^_^

Wow, umm, this is the best poem that I have read of yours. So much depth and meaning. I love it because, once you explained what it meant to you, I could see how this relates to life and my life, as well. Because I don't walk on the road, through the woods I go. I love it, and I like it, and, best of all, I live it. That's the best part!!!