Of Songs and Roads

The kind of song you want to make love to
Even under a shit sky, if there ever was one
If there ever is one.

Slick roads crack when it rains
But I’m singing, always singing
I’m so hoarse but I won’t I won’t
Stop
You’ll have to rip out my fucking throat
Come on world, I dare you

Gee, what a song
Takes me back to those fat hot nights
Takes me foreword to bleary-eyed tomorrow
Instead of sunshine it rains fire
Everything around me laid to waste

But here comes the chorus,
Oh, oh oh
Tralalalalalala oh
What a chorus

Where are the brakes? Oh,
Where they’ve always been.

And I’m banging on the steering wheel
Lights may be red but im singing
I feel good, for the first time
In forever. Lights may be red
But I'll stop when I feel like it, godammnit

This song is loud, loud, it swallows me whole.
Brighten my day, october rain.
But don’t make me look back.
Roll down my windows, now I’m soaked

Rain, I love you. So kill me now, quietly.
Make it so I never have to leave
This road or this song.
In this weather, anything can happen.

Another chorus? Oh, no it’s repeating
Tralalalalala oh
Oh, oh oh
Wow that’s catchy

What the hell is that woman doing?
LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, BITCH. HONK
I’m going
I’m going
I’m going
Where?

I guess I’ll find out when I run out of gas
But I can fill a tank
And the radio never sleeps
It's just the rain, pray for the rain
to keep pouring

and pouring
and pouring
pouring
Until there's no more road to drive.

Wow. This is absolutely fantastic! That's all I can say. My one correction would be that you forgot the "t" one of the times you wrote the word "won't". That's a tongue-teaser, isn't it? Wrote the word won't. Anyway.

Even under a shit sky, if there ever was one
If there ever is one

to me, it didn't flow right.

takes me back to those fat hot nights

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here

Instead of sunshine it rains fire
Everything around me laid to waste

love this
I guess the topic you wrote about really doesn't catch my attention, but that doesn't mean i hated this piece.

not a prude when it comes to language (some of my pieces use a fair f word) but to me the cursing felt totally out of place with this work. alot of the style felt scattershot with the stanza length changes, short punchy lines then long descriptive ones.

Honestly felt like there's a nice emotion story here mixed with head banging oddity and to me it really didn't gel, which is why I prob loved the first half so much adn grew weary of the second which descends into chaos and random one word lines.

As a song this does fare better, though not my style there's an odd lyrical flow to the piece that I think complements the style very well and helps tie it together even in the lesser points.

Overall, it's a fairly solid, if broken feeling piece. Much more solid than most poetry of this kind on YWS.

Yup, I know why you rated it 18+.
I'm surprised a prude person like me actually liked it . It was so....you know easy to relate to for some reason.
My favourite part is:
But I’m singing, always singing
I’m so hoarse but I won’t
I won’tStop
You’ll have to rip out my fucking throat
Come on world, I dare you

I'd love to read more of your interesting work except I can't find any. Coz I'm so new and useless I don't have any clue how.