Remembering you!

This is a poem I wrote. I was driving back at sunset along the Sea Side in Alexandria, Egypt. The view was so beautiful .. I couldn't help but to start writing this poem inside my head.. I wrote the very first four lines. Then it was all blank. three weeks later, I remembered it. I was sitting in class. The teacher was absent & We were all having a 10 minute-dance party in the classroom..
5 minutes were enough for me. I took a paper out and wrote this with tons of people shouting beside me. I hope you like it!



A brightened ship in the night of the sea
made me wish of an old dream
How far the hearts that I can't reach
How deep is my fond of the sea.

In the shimmering lights I melt,
For they stir something deep inside
The dusting memories I had forgot how they felt
when I was just a kid waiting for my ride

The joy I had is unforgettable
and those years are my most valuable
Careless days in the beauty of gardens
surrounded by flowers & ambitions High
Quiet nights in the light of the moon
protected by the shadows of the sky.

Years later, I still play in the sand
building castles on the shore
just to watch the waves bring them down to land
Behind my back & more.

Life isn't fare
but it's still so good
It gives us hope of everything
& from our hands it took.

To my fate, I will not object
For I'm not the first nor the last
It did the first move, I walked the rest
Hope and I, hand in hand.

Before I knew it, the night became Dawn
& the brightened ship now looks so pale
The shore of my memories will never be gone
and my desires will continue to sail.

Behind the clouds, the sun begins to draw with ink
as the sky turns from Navy to baby Pink
I look up at the Horizon,
then I stare at your delightful grin

Some things mean the world to us,
I guess that's true
but one thing I'm sure of
for always....
I'll be remembering you! ♥

Comments are deeply appreciated!

This is really nice:) It reminds me wonderfully of my darling little child hood. And I'm still a 13 year old! I liked the first line,

A brightened ship in the night of the sea
made me wish of an old dream

It does seem like something that would come to me at sunset in (!?!?!) Egypt. I would change it to how deep is my fondness of the sea though. It would flow more, it's less to think about, even though it does make me think.

i really enjoyed reading your work, its a kind of piece that's easy to relate too, and the flow was effortless.

in the shimmering lights I melt,
For they stir something deep inside

you give a hint of emotion without being so straight forward, love it

t gives us hope of everything
& from our hands it took.

also a favorite.

i wasn't a big fan of how you ended it, but that's just me. good work xo

It was beautifully written. I love poems that have a mesmerizing finish. And your poem had it. It's something which touches the heart. I especially loved that line,

Hope and I,hand in hand.

Good Job!!