ace of theives

Show me the truth be sentenced for lies,
The thieving joker in a courtroom of eyes.
Innocent he pleads guilty they say,
Pack him up and hall him away.
Ace of thieves he lost his heart the king and queen took their part,
Sentenced him hard for life to go for stealing diamonds in a castle of jokes.

Great punctuation in your poem. I really liked how you described it. I think your a really good writer and you should keep up the good work.

Hey this was a good, short poem and was enjoyable. Now, I am not too great at grammar, nor have I ever written a poem I was proud of so I am not the one to give you advice on this subject. All I'm going to say is, keep up the good work and happy writing!
-Gmuffin-

I absolutely loved this poem! The last two lines were a bit if-y because they didn't seem to flow into each other like the previous lines, but other than that it was great!

Agreed that the last 2 lines coudl be improved. Great poem overall.

Hi there. I'm Scarlett and I'll be reviewing your poem tonight.

First off, I love it. It's short, it's simple and it's straight to the point. And I love the idea of an 'ace of thieves'. And you have, in fact, inspired me to now write about something similar to that. Thanks for giving my muse a kick-start. She's been drifting just out of my reach lately. Silly muse. Never behaves.

Now, for some nit picks, which I shall mark below in red. They're mostly punctuation so it's alright, really. It's just a few missing commas. Very easy to fix. And I'll add some comments in green for you.

WRITINGNEON wrote:Show me the truth, be sentenced for lies,
The thieving joker in a courtroom of eyes.
Innocent he pleads, guilty they say,
Pack him up and hall him away.
Ace of thieves he lost his heart, the king and queen took their part, I would put this part about the king and queen down a line. It seems to work better that way.
Sentenced him hard for life to go, for stealing diamonds in a castle of jokes.This part seemed a little awkward. Perhaps rewriting it might help more?

Overall, it's a brilliant and simple and I love it. I'm going to be clicking like once I'm done with the review. Hopefully, my comments help you to improve it a little. It's perfectly fine if you don't want to, but sometimes another opinion helps wonders.

Thank you very much for the beautiful poetry and for making me smile (poetry always makes me smile). And thanks again for the spark of inspiration you've given me. Hopefully, my muse won't disappear on me this time. ^^ Keep writing, and don’t ever give up!

~Scar.

This actually a very impressive piece your metaphors are top notch and consistent which is excellent. Choosing to continue the metaphor all the way through definitely added to the brilliant effect of the poem. Using playing cards made everything seem so tense, like a deadly game. YOur rhyme scheme was also nice and consistent except for....

WRITINGNEON wrote:Show me the truth be sentenced for lies,
The thieving joker in a courtroom of eyes.
Innocent he pleads guilty they say,
Pack him up and hall him away.
Ace of thieves he lost his heart the king and queen took their part,
Sentenced him hard for life to go for stealing diamonds in a castle of jokes. Here. It looked like you couldn't find a suitable word to rhyme with jokes. Ah well, it can stay that way seeing as the overall piece was amazing!

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!

Very creative way to tell a great story, expecially in such few sentences. Although there wasn't much rhythm to the poem it expresses the hard life of a thief in only a sentence or two. Amazing work overall.

I loved it over all! The end part was kind of off course and random cause it didn't really fit the rest of your whole rigm sceme, but the poem over all was exelant! You reallly brought out a great metaphore for whatever it was you were getting at. Because I have a hunch that it wasn't about a theif or playing cards or alice in wonderland. LOL! I really enjoyed this peice though! keep up the fantastic poetry!