Death awaits

The clouds above hovers, all dark and gray
The black hooded figure is on his way
You get on your knees and prey
You know that you will soon see your last day
But you remember the time when danced in sunrays

The thunder rolls ahead and the rain has begun
Its too late until you've realized what you've done
Your life was a joke it was all for fun
But now its too late too run, theres nowhere to run
You were mean, rude, hurtful, and dumb
Now your body and soul feels numb

You've made a deal that you can't break
Now its the devil's soul to take
Time is near when you'll no longer wake
How inconsiderate with the choice you had to make
this is real life but now lived it awefully fake

God would have forgave you, but you gave up on him
Now you'll burn in hell for what you did
Asking for redemption? Well its too late for that
Now entry for you at the pearly white gate
But someone is ready for you, its death
and he surely awaits

This was a good poem. Be careful to avoid singular conjugation of verbs involving more than one thing, though. Other than that, I found nothing too in need of correction. I'm not sure I liked the rhyming of the poem, but I loved the idea behind it. It really was an amazing piece, so don't let my ideas mitigate the beauty of your work. Great job, and keep it up! I look forward to reading more of your pieces!

I liked it. It was very intense and had a lot of regret and emotion in it. Usually rhyming is over done or not good with the poems, but with yours it seemed to work really well. I liked the topic and the way you portrayed the imagery. Very dark and creepy. But over all it was good.
-Hayley

I think the piece had a lot of potential, but the rhyming wasn't necessary. It felt forced a lot of the time, and it felt like you were stopping and starting, instead of making it flow smoothly from one line to the next. Aside from that, powerful, and emotional.