Fallen from Grace

Drifting...
Eyes blood red.
Drifting...
So easily led.
Drifting...
One false step.
Drifting...

She fell through the clouds.

A/N: Can be taken literally and figuratively. One of the few poems I love. No postings tomorrow so getting it done tonight. Ciao!

-Nana.

Wow! I really liked this, it was so short, but so packed with emotion. I could see her crying, and drifting away. It was just really good. I don't have much of a review to give, because I think it was perfect just how it is.

Hi paperbackheart,

Loved this. It was really great!

The flow was wonderful (even though it only had eight lines), and I also loved your word structure.
It's always a bit of a risk when you try a poem that has a repeating line (or stanza) in it, but your poem worked out perfectly!

I also really love the last line - it adds a nice pop to the whole of the poem.

Great job with this!

Keep writing,
Alzora

I really like how

paperbackheart wrote:Eyes bright red.

rhymes with

paperbackheart wrote:So easily led.

and then nothing else rhymes. I sort of sets up an expectation and then tears it down.
I also love the repetition, the simplicity, basically everything about this piece.
However, one nitpick:

paperbackheart wrote:Eyes bright red.

I actually don't like this line in and of itself. I know that whatever goes here has to be short and rhyme with "lead" but I feel like this should be tweaked a little bit. Sorry if that's totally unhelpful and someone might some along and totally contradict me, but I feel like this is just too many sentence fragments and this phrase should have some sort of action.
So those are my thoughts but essentially you did a great job.
Beautiful poem.

I love poems that are this simplistic, and to the point. Very cool very cool:D

I'm listening to the song 'Fallen' by Florence and the Machine. One of the lines is "I've fallen from grace." It's weird yet awesome how the timing on that worked...