Disappeared

The poem is a vary good read.But you might not want to post poetry that maybe a littel close to home.

Howdy there!


I think this poem is really good! The length really suits the style so well done.

Only a few little nitpicks here

Firstly, you have spelt disappeared wrong. Secondly, I am not sure if this line fits in with the rest on the poem. What I mean is it seems to stop the flow of the piece. I had to re-read it several times and it still didn't sound right.

has just dissapeared.

I'm not sure if the repetition of the word back works here.

I take back.
Every time I think back

Overall a neat poem, with just a few tweaks needed!

Well done!

Thanks I added more to try to fix it I don't know if it worked or not.

I find this poem very good. and I like how it is summed up really well in the end. I have to say though that the rhythm of the poem was ruined at some parts particularity so maybe you should try and read it out loud to yourself to see what I mean? But apart from that good poem all in all.

My favourite verse:

jolene15 wrote:Every memory has been erased.
Every second was just a waste.
Everyday was a just joke.
Every kiss was a mistake.

Awesome poem!

Thank you very much

The poem is good, but i think that maybe you shouldnt write about something that you really feel. But im not sure if it is your true feelings. other than that it is a good poem. I like the part where you used every in almost all your sentences.

It wasn't how I was feeling...It really just popped into my head when I was listening to music.