My Broken Heart

My heart broke
At approximately six o'clock
In the morning
I knew that I severly
Wished for death
I wish for it all
To end
I wish
I had never made
That one mistake
I should have never
Let my life get to me
I should have never
Taken it out on you
I should have told you
About my father sooner
So maybe you would have understood why
Why I had just disconnected
From reality
But that one mistake
That one simple mistake
My own fault
My own damn fault
Because for those two months
I just told you to go away
I ignored how much I loved you
And paid attention to how much I was
Hurting
But I want you back
I realized a long time ago
How much I loved you
I always knew
I just shut down
By now, I am again
My broken heart is reeling
My eyes finally learned
To cry
I realized you loved her more
You will always love her more
I was supposed to be your first
We were destined for each other
Why did I have to let you go?
So now I'm crying over the phone,
Wishing for death,
Though I know I will not achieve that
I don't deserve that
And plus,
You die, I die
If I die,
That means I take your life too
I don't want to do that
Part of me
Wants you
To suffer
You will never understand how much
That killed me
And the day it happened?
Why, I felt something was off that day
What's funny is,
You still have the nerve to say you still
Love me
You will always
Love me
What's hysterical is,
I still believe you
I still love you

I thought this was filled with tons of emotion and anguish, I liked the format of the poem and the description that was inside it. The only thing that you should work on is how it seems to go on longer than needed, great job on this piece! Keep up the great writing!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

I really like your poem it really shows emotions and how some people really feel.

Here to review for you!

I liked your poem. While I could tell it was dripping with emotion, it didn't really allow me to feel your pain. When I read a poem, I like to be able to step inside and sympathized too. My suggestion for this is to give us more background about what went wrong to cause your heart to break. You tell us a little, but it all seems on the surface...

Another thing that would add more dimension to your poem would be to add punctuation and fixing some capitalization. Having punctuation in your poem helps the readers take necessary pauses. After you add punctuation, change the capitalization so it fits.

Keep writing!
-Jessa