Low

Why sleep tonight
or wake in the morning

why love and care
but feel so empty

why long and hope for false ideals
or wait for things so out of reach

why dare to dream
then beg to wake

why cry and scream
and smile away

beyond this moment
anything is possible
nothing is possible
this is impossible...

Hey there =] This was reaaally good. I found the rhythm right away and the lines were straight to the point without giving Everything away. You played it nicely. I liked a lot of the lines, they were very clever. The only stanza I was a bit iffy on was the last one, just because it didn't mesh as well I thought... But other than that this was really lovely =]

My favorite line was why cry and scream then smile away. With that line, I just had fullblown imagery hitting me in the face. Throughout actually, you have wonderful imagery. Very well done =]

Okay... a few things with this poem.

I found it really good for a start, but there were two things I am going to fuss about. One I can't stand, the other is just my bird-brain head.

Okay... I cannot stand... Lines that don't start with a capital letter. I do not know why, and I think this might just be me, but it really bugs me and I think you should change it.

I also don't get the last verse... You say anthing is possible and then nothing is possible and then you say this is impossible. Two things. First I don't get how anything and nothing is possible at the same time. Secondly you say, 'this is impossible'. What exactly is the 'this' that you are referring to?

But apart from that I liked the poem a lot. It had a lot of meaning and cut straight to it. Title also really suites it and it was short but nice. Good job!'(Don't let my bird-brain or my thing about capitals like put you down or anything!)

Well done, this is a poem which i think nearly everyone can relate to because one time or another we have all felt like this

"why love and care
but feel so empty"

i just want to highlight this part of the poem as i believe this a question which just about everyone has asked themselves and you have put it in such a beautiful way so i really want to congratulate you for that.

Also i want to point out the fact this poem is so unique because it touches a subject which is general however it also leaves such a personal image the reader can relate to.

Well done and keep up the great work