Into Heaven

I swoop upward
Carving a perfect arc
Headed up to heaven
Headed to perfect skies
Closing my eyes
Sweeping just above the water
Swooping up into the wind
My journey is unknown
Traveling high above
Into the navy sky with
Paint splattered clouds
Twisting upward
Wind streaks back my feathers
Slowly turning back toward the earth
See a longing human
Wishing to fly like me
To the moon at night
To the sun at day
And I look at him
Sadly
Before I soar off
Into heaven

Spoiler

This poem was inspried by KiD CuDi's Mr. Rager. Try reading it while you have the song playing in the backgriund. It has sort of the same style and rhythm.

One think to point out: If you are going up, into heaven, what's with the "Swooping Low," part at the beginning? Just a thought. The imagery was great in this piece, a nice read and made me feel good. Awesome job.

i liked your poem. it wuz very interesting. keep writing!!

Hey there,

Liked your poem! First off I have a few nitpicks:

I swoop upward
Carving a perfect arc
Headed up to heaven
Headed to the perfect skies
Closing my eyes
Sweeping just above the water
Swooping up into the sun love these two lines!
My journey is unknown
Traveling high above
Into the navy sky with
Paint splattered clouds :)
Twisting upward
Wind streaks back my feathers
Slowly turning back toward the earth
See a longing human
Wishing to fly like me
To the moon at night
To the sun at day
And I look at him
Sadly
Before I soar off
Into heaven

Very nice! As sassykat said, great imagery. I liked your perspective, looking down at the human. And your style is beautiful, not too complex, not forced, very stream-of-consciousness. Nice work!

Sare

I really like this poem. I like how you are swooping up so high and looking down at all the sad humans that aren't as happy is you.

cammie wrote:See a longing human
Wishing to fly like me
To the moon at night
To the sun at day
And I look at him
Sadly
Before I soar off Into heaven

My favourite verse. Good job and keep on writing!