Morning Rain

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 11009
Reviews 413
I'm not sure where to post this poem, so I just decided to put it here. :) Hopefully that's ok. I know this isn't very good, so any and all reviews are very welcome. :pirate3:

The smell of something new,
Of freshness and wet grass,
Of sweet early morning dew,
Of the cold, dark night’s pass.

The sound of each wet drop,
Of the slightly blowing wind,
Of every splatter and plop,
Of the darkness and it’s end.

The view of falling rain,
Of the barely blowing trees,
Of the endless wet terrain,
Of the invisible breeze.

The feeling of damp air,
Of being stuck in morning,
Of wishing I was out there,
Of open eyes still dreaming.
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. -Kafka

Look: A Link! https://caijobetweenthepages.wordpress.com/




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8572
Reviews 424
What do you mean this not being good? It's a very dull topic but I love the way you made it interesting and full of imagery and emotion. Soo. don't be shy, you've got great rythm and I always find it hard when writing such rhyme-depending poems to not make it sound forced but you obviously don't :D EHm sooo... what can I say other than stating the fact that this was a simple, cute and awesome little poem!

// Demoness
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1462
Reviews 14
Of being stuck in morning,

I think it will be better if you add 'the morning'

Other wise loved it. It was really good, I like how you took a simple idea and made it into a poem. Also what you had and that many poems dont is the tempo. For example I could add almost any tempo and this poem and it would blend.
I just wish you might have made a last conclusion maybe make it a bit funny. Other wise keep it up.
"I like turtles"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 67548
Reviews 1634
I found this poem very interesting. It made something really boring sound really wonderful... And it takes a lot to do that! I found the imagery amazing and cannot see a single thing wrong with this poem. Keep writing!
Trust in God and all else follows.

Deanie, dominating the world since it was cool @Pompadour, 2014
Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 374
Reviews 165
Helloo Cailey!!
I like this write! I love the imagery of this and could almost smell the rain XD
I do agree with killkrusha on the:
Of being stuck in the morning,

I think it would sound better yeah =)
But other than that I couldn't find anything wrong with this and I enojyed reading this!
Hope this helped a little =)
-qaralynn-
"If they can't be with you at your worst, then they don't deserve to be with you at your best."
-Murtuza-

"Even though a ship won't sink at sea, it needs to be steered to get home."



All hail the mighty Glow Cloud.
— Welcome to Night Vale