I Can't Win

(Please review this. I'll take anything...just nothing to harsh. )

She snaps at him
Annoyed
He growls her
Angry
The fighting is like war
It never seems to stop
Sounds like gun shots
When something is thrown
Anytime they’re near each other
There’s always something
That draws them apart
And starts up the noise again

I can’t win
I really can’t
The fight’s about me
Or it always seems so
Who made me late?
Her hair took too long
But he wasn’t home in time
Who was supposed to pick me up?
He said he would
But she was just around the block
It doesn’t matter
Either way, the war goes on

Awhhh is this about your parents?

I liked this a lot.

Keep your head up
-Sarah

It is about my parents... :/

Sad but beautiful. Good job.

I completely understand, girl. My family comes to blows sometimes and it's hard to be caught in the middle. I wrote a poem about it called Crossfire (guess the title is self-explanatory). It's hard to be a kid in the middle, I know.

Great job with the poem and don't worry, none of it is your fault no matter what they tell you!

Keep writing, you're great!

Thanks

-Brie

Oh, Brie. I'm sorry. I wish I could help you, but I think you're doing yourself good to write about it.
Now, please don't take anything I say as harsh, but I'm going to critique the writing because I know the emotion's there.

She snaps at him
Annoyed
He growls her
Angry

I love how you set up the differences between how your parents' show their emotions in such short, easy lines. Even in your verbs, it shows us how each handles the situation.

Sounds like gun shots

This fragment bothers me. I would switch it with the line below and add an "it" or something. I don't know...

Anytime they’re near each other
There’s always something
That draws them apart

Great use of juxtaposition.

I can’t win
I really can’t
The fight’s about me

This third line seems a bit of a non sequitur. I'm not really sure how you can tie that all in.

The fight’s about me
Or it always seems so

I love this second line.

The second stanza is wonderful. You capture the back-and-forth firing of question and defensive answer, also tying in your war theme with the "firing" back-and-forth. Great job.

This piece was very well written, and it flowed nicely. I can tell you write a lot from you life, and I really appreciate that. None of your emotion in any of your pieces seems forced. However, I would like to see some light, joyful pieces from you. Focus on the joys of life! Like dancing pink elephants! Keep your spirits up.
Once again, a great poem from you.
Best wishes,
-Sea-

This really touched because I'm going through the same thing. I wrote a poem about it called Coward,(its about my dad). I hope things get better.things get better or atleast I hope they do:/ Keep your head up,theres a light in the sky,I know your fed up but you must try to survive.
-Shelby-

I had just one or two nitpicks;

He growls her - Do you mean growls 'at' her?

And another thing which bugs me is your lack of punctuation. It's quite emotional, because you can read between the lines and nothing slips past through the cracks to be honest, but if you did a little work on punctuating the lines then I think it would make it much easier to read.
Aside from that, I liked it - keep your chin up dear, I know it's hard to watch (and hear) parents fighting, but you've got your poetry to help you deal with it.