the uprising

Never again will you ever believe,
never again will you ever decieve.

Masked by your hate and devilness inside,
your love for him was always a disguise.

Knowing it's possible to be betrayed,
never did you think he would feel this way.

Their's no denying he has a place inside,
but never enough to stop fueling your lies.

The never ending nights of June,
came and shattered his thoughts of you.

Forever the stars mark that day,
forever the uprising is here to stay.

Never again will you ever believe,
never again will you ever decieve. It's "E, I" since there's a C.

Masked by your hate and devilness inside, There's no such word as "devilness," but there is "devilishness"
your love for him was always a disguise. A disguise for what?

Knowing it's possible to be betrayed,
never did you think he would feel this way.

Their's no denying he has a place inside,
but never enough to stop fueling your lies.

The never ending nights of June,
came and shattered his thoughts of you.

Forever the stars mark that day,
forever the uprising is here to stay.

This was good. I would just like to see a little more depth, a little more meaning. Which character was the cause of this 'uprising'? Which character was the antagonist? Why did the uprising happen?

Other than that, the poem was really good. I liked it a lot. You had really good imagery, and your words flowed flawlessly. Great job!

Hello! This is a pretty good poem! I can tell that the poem's main idea is that the girl the speaker talks about hides her love for the boy with her hate and evilness just to protect herself from being betrayed, but she never thought that he would love her back. Though he loves her, it's not enough to stop her from being deceiving. The summer stops him from thinking about her because he's too busy enjoying it to think about her. Thus, fate chooses that one day the girl and boy will confess their love for each other and be brought together. A happy ending is thus made. What a very nice main idea!

I like how you have imagery in the poem, but it's not a lot. I think you should add more imagery. For example, you could describe how the girl masks her love for the boy instead of saying she masks it with her hate and devilness. You could also describe how the stars mark the day and how there is an uprising. These are just idea that you could use. I'm pretty sure you have ideas of your own.

I do enjoy that you rhyme, but it's like what my high school teacher once said to me, "You either rhyme or you don't rhyme." In other words, you either rhyme the same way you started rhyming or you don't rhyme at all. Although, you can alter your rhyme just a little, but only at one part of the poem. You have to keep your rhyme scheme almost consistent or completely consistent.

Now, the last few things I have to say concerns spelling. I notice you wrote "devilness." Can you explain to me why you used that word? Why you ask? The reason is "devilness" is not a word. Also, I notice you wrote "decieve." It should be spelled deceive. Finally, I notice you wrote "Their's." I think you meant to write "There's." See? It's just minor errors.

To conclude, this is a good poem, it just needs more imagery and a better rhyme scheme. Hope you keep writing poetry!:)

Hey there,
First off, I really enjoyed this poem- it flows quite nicely.
Although maybe a little more imagery could be added to it? I don't know, it's just a thought.
Overall, I liked it
-Briggsy