Your Brother...

Oh what a mess.
Sit down, don’t frown, don’t stress.
There’s something that I must confess.
I didn’t mean for this to happen
But it did, on a day when we were talking, hugging and laughing.
Talking turned into flirting.
Hugging into touching and laughing into kissing.
Listen, please… Here’s the thing:

I’m in love with your brother.
Don’t tell your mother
He drives me insane – now I can’t get him off my brain.
Loving you, I did in vain and now I’m the one to blame.
He’s stolen my heart; I knew I felt something for him right from the start.
My intention was not to break your heart.
Me and your brother have got something going on,
It feels so right even though we know it’s wrong.
I’m afraid it’s been happening for very long
Only it took you ages to realize
Alas, I must apologize
It pains me to hear your cries
I pray I haven’t brought about your demise.
I’m in love with your brother;
I love him like no other
We’ve been together under cover
For ages he’s been my lover.
All I can say is sorry – I hope you can forgive me
Open your eyes and see – me and him are meant to be.
Now that you know, please just let me go.
I need to be with him; and finally I got the courage to tell you so.

I thought that your poem was very easy to relate. Not in the exact same way as what you explain in your poem but in the sense that someone could be in love with a relatives best friend or a best friends relative. I liked it because you used rhyming in a way that I would not have then again I don't write poetry. If I was writing this poem it would have been much more sad and melancholy, but I'm not you. All in all I like this poem and your style of writing.

Keep up the good work!

Hey there =] I thought the idea of this was really good. But I wish it would executed a little bit more differently. The poem was a bit messy. The lines varied a lot and the rhythm broke up a little here and there.

The message was fantastic. I thought that it was sort of heart breaking. But there was sooo much More emotion you could have portrayed! I mean... the absolute heartbreak for the person that she was cheating on... the guilt for doing it in the first place, all of it has so much emotion that could be captured. I don't think I'm Feeling it, more than I'm being Told whats going on. So its lacking just a bit there. You're not too far off, so don't worry =]

The set up was a tad messy though. I would have liked to see it split into nice, clean stanzas with equal lines. Overall, its really good and has great potential. However, I think I would have turned it into a short story instead. Sooo much potential =]]

Wow, very good and i liked the rythems. But it seemed kind of lifeless like it didnt give a feel of what she was feeling. maybe use more descriptive verbs and adjectives. But over all good job.

I saw the title and guessed right. ^-^ This was exactly an 'I'm in love with your brother' poem. I have to say, you picked a fresh subject to write a poem about. Not sure I've read something like this yet. Overall, it was cute. It was very to the point of what you were meaning to get out, which is great. However there may be some room for a bit of tweaking still.

As I was reading I noticed the sort of almost rhyme scheme going on, but it was bit scattered to have a decent flow to it. Almost as if you were rhyming words where you best could, but not necessarily in all the places you should have been better focusing on. In a few places there was a bit much of the consecutive rhyming going on, but it shouldn't be that great of an issue trying to fix up so that your words read off tighter. I'd go back through and look at places you could maybe dice up so that your poem reads off smoother.

One more thing that was a bit of an eyesore to me was the way you laid this out. Some lines were smaller than others, but some were just way too long. There wasn't that symmetry that I like to see when reading poems that rhyme especially. This is also an easy thing to fix though. Not much of a technicality to be worried over. Usually when writing a poem of my own I separate it into what reads off most smoothly, as well as what appears most dynamically cut. I try and avoid lines being too long and then having it seem to drone as I'm reading through. Becase it's quite noticeable, therefore it's best to watch out for the symmetry of your poem.

Anyway, overall like I said, nice job. This was a really cute poem. Keep in mind the little things I've pointed out and said, and I think this poem could probably read off much more smoothly. I know editing can be a bit of a pain sometimes. Especially when it comes to poetry, but in the end it's always worth it!

Keep writing ^-^

-Smylin'

Thank you all very much, i shall most certainly take all your comments into consideration and start editing as soon as possible.
777, the poem was not mean to be emotional in that way, it was mockery. The girl in this situation is not even sorry, she only apologises because she feels she has to, its nothing but protocol. She doesn't really feel bad or even care about her boyfriends feelings.
Oldgypsywomen: You hit it on the nose with a hammer, you completely grasped the entire concept of this poem, what i was trying to put out there, you analised it so perfectly. Thank you!!!