Albatross

Winging its lonely way
Onward toward the horizon.
Never a permanent denizen,
But ever soaring away.

The sea reaches to crush
This endless albatrossian flightpath,
But the bird eludes it's raging
And flies ever-onward in a rush.

So is this wayward soul,
This pilgrim of the skies.
To always leave, to ne'er realize
What lies on the earth below.

Hi there,

Nice job on this! I have a few nitpicks for you:

Winging its lonely way
Onward toward the horizon.
Never a permanent denizen,
But ever soaring away.

This doesn't quite feel like the beginning of something but rather like the second stanza of a poem. Also, your use of "Way" and "Away" in such close proximity detracts from the flow of the poem.

The sea reaches to crush
This endless albatrossian flightpath, I love this!!
But the bird eludes its raging
And flies ever-onward in a rush.

So is this wayward soul,
This pilgrim of the skies.
To always leave, to ne'er realize
What lies on the earth below. Lovely ending!

Well, as I said, I thought that your ending was very strong but your beginning left something to be desired. And I loved the second line of the second stanza. This is very pretty, it has a nice flow. It isn't flashy or anything, or melodramatic, or angsty, just pretty. Nice job!

Sare

Well, hi there! Le Review:

Winging its lonely way (is 'winging' actually a verb? I don't like it.)
Onward toward the horizon.
Never a permanent denizen,
But ever soaring away. (nice imagery)

The sea reaches to crush
This endless albatrossian flightpath, (this line is kinda gross. It's huge mouthful.)
But the bird eludes its raging
And flies ever-onward in a rush.

So is this wayward soul,
This pilgrim of the skies. (these two lines are lovely, but fragmented. connect them.)
To always leave, to ne'er realize (0h, nice middle English)
What lies on the earth below.

Overall, this is a lovely poem! You capture the loneliness of a single flying albatross well. Keep up writing great things like this!

-Tori

I thought this was a so-so poem. It had a certain ring to it, and I like the subject, but maybe some unique adjectives or imagery would be nice? Just something to spice it up. I felt like this was a great start, though.

The rhythm also seemed a little off, but that could just be me...

I liked the way you used 'winging'. Even it's not a real word, you have creative license.

Winging its lonely way
Onward toward the horizon.
Never a permanent denizen,
But ever soaring away.

However, I believe that sarebare has a point when she says the first stanza doesn't sound like a first stanza. Maybe add some?
-Daisuki

Thanks for the support on "winging"... I do agree, an artist has room for creativity and invention, no matter the art. This was just a quick attempt on some more natural poetry... I tend to write about all manner of dark and depressing and deep topics, so it was a change of pace. Thanks for the reviews, everyone.