Hotel experiences.

My poem-izzle about my experience at the Hotel i went to this saturday.

i went to a hotel this saturday..
i stole the soap
i stole the milk
i stole the soda
i stole the sheets
i stole the lamp
i stole the knives
i stole the forks
i stole the fruit
i stole the socks i found
i stole the beach towel
i stole the bedside table
i stole the cheese on the deck
i stole the pigeon
i stole the candy under the bed
that reminds me.. i stole the bed
i stole the soul of a man who's name was Jeff
i stole the japanese worker
i stole the pillow
i stole the door
i stole the door mat
i stole the door handle
i stole the door hinges
i stole the neighbours door


Yours sincerely, Mrpunctuation

Hello!

I found that I rather liked this poem. It's simple and easy to read. It also sounded rather cheeky. I also laughed when reading it.

In your poem, it's one of the instances where repetition works. And it didn't only work, it worked really well. Good job on that part.

Another thing I liked about it is how you went on mentioning:

mrpunctuation wrote:i stole the soul of a man who's name was Jeff

That was awesome.
Because not only did you mentioned the everyday things like soap, towel, beverage and all the rest. You went on mentioning the impossible and the...well, not so-everyday-things. Which added to the humor in the piece.

On another subject: puncutation and capitalisation. I saw the irony with the Mr punctuation and all that. But I kind of like poems to be punctuated properly. I would suggest punctuating it properly, but I also kind of like the irony. And I also think that the non-punctuation thing was intentional. So, you don't have to change anything. Those are just thoughts and opinions.

Overall, repetition well used and it got a few laughs from me. So, good job all round. Keep it up!

Hello writing buddy!
First off, no matter HOW MUCH I loved this,my writing teacher would've killed you. Until she saw the closing. :3 Honestly, this was a cute poem. I'd LOVE to see their reactions if a REAL hotel got your poem!

(giggles as typing) Ummm... I liked it. I was going to comment and correct all your punctuation, but then the signature caught me. It made me laugh, and I enjoyed reading it, good-job.

In my opinion I would have liked to see more of a story than just seeing a list of everything you stole from the hotel. I liked "i stole the soul of a man who's name was Jeff"
that was different and I would've enjoyed more of a story or deeper meaning in the poem, that came from the idea of this line, but thats just me. -Bettinger

This made me laugh
Good job - very clever
AmiiLightwood

I quite liked the poem - it was a nice idea, but it got really boring by the middle. No punctuation or correct use of grammar bothered me to no end, and if you had broken it up into stanzas or done something more interesting to it, then it would have been aeons better.