God's Love

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
His love is like a rainbow,
As I look out the window.
Its never ending, it's always there,
Even when I'm in the depths of despair.
When times are tough,
And I have just had enough.
He lifts me up,
With his loving care,
Even when I'm crying,
His love never is dying.
When my heart has turned from him,
And my light is dim.
When I think he has forgotten me,
And he is no where to be seen.
He puts his hands out,
And tells me not to doubt.
He say's "All I have to offer you is love",
Like a dove that spreads it's wing.
Ready to fly in the spring,
His love is like a rainbow.
Its never ending, it's always there.
Last edited by Zwinky on Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:39 am, edited 3 times in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8363
Reviews 182
This was so touching! I love all the emotion, and you expressed God's love well. This is great. Just one or two things.


He says, "All I have to offer you is love,"



Really nice!
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1316
Reviews 12
I couldn't argue anymore about this poem. All I can say is, "Amen". Keep inspiring your readers! :)
"There's a touch of madness in every great mind."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 202
such a beautifully written and touching poem :-)
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1850
Reviews 82
This is so beautiful! It's meaningful, moving, and beautiful! It speaks about how some people view God as, a loyal and trusting hand that's there to help and will never let you down. That's how I think of God. I love your poem. It's touching! Awesome job and keep it up, write more!

- gleek456
YOU'VE GOT THAT ONE THING




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 471
Reviews 532
Hi there, Zwinky. Nice poem, I like it very much. I have some nitpicks for you. :)

Zwinky wrote:Its never ending, it's always there,

Add an apostrophe: It's never ending, it's always there,

Zwinky wrote:Even when I'm crying,
His love never is dying.

I think this part would look better the other way round: Even when I'm crying
His love is never dying.

Zwinky wrote:When my heart has turned from him,

Uppercase! Remember you're talking about God.

Zwinky wrote:When I think he has forgotten me,
And he is no where to be seen.

Same. :) And I think the period should be deleted... o.0

Zwinky wrote:He say's "All I have to offer you is love",

He says, "All I have to offer you is love",

Zwinky wrote:Like a dove that spreads it's wing.

Wrong apostrophe: Like a dove that spreads its' wings.
Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego

"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."



"And the rest is rust and stardust."
— Vladimir Nabokov