Robin Hood

Robin Hood

Robin Hood is a merry man,
helped always by his merry band.
They steal from the rich and give to the poor,
'til they want no more.
The Sheriff tried with all his might,
to blow out that burning light,
of hope for the poor,
his riches were taken from him once more.
He brought his men to the forest land,
there Robin Hood met his foe again.
He sang his song and shot his bow,
just to let the Sheriff know,
That you don't mess with Robin Hood.
You don't mess with the good.
You don't try to hurt the poor,
till they can feel no more.
For,
Robin Hood is a merry man,
helped always by his merry band.
They steal from the rich and give to the poor,
'til they want no more

Wow... Talk about unoriginal.... I don't mean to be mean but... seriously, this is so unoriginal and it rhymed awkwardly to me... the words, they are AWKWARD TO ME!!!

Aye, I'm afraid I'd have to go with awkward: I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think rhyming poetry is only for people who've been doing it a long time, it's just too hard to make it sound good.

The main problem is more serious, I think: even though you could reword the whole thing, lose the forced rhymes and give it some real meter, you'll have a real struggle making me care. I know about Robin Hood, I've heard all the stories about his Merry Men, why do I need a poem about it? Thing is, no-one who reads this is likely to be at all interested.

If you linked it to a concept, to the idea of, say, Bush stealing from Iraqis, or mega-corperations stealing from poor people, then you would have a subject worth writing about, but as long as it's just a history of how great Robin Hood was, you simply cannot make this good enough to be good. Subject matter is half the battle; find something people want to know about, find something that will make people think.

Wow, that is a lot different then the feedback I have gotten other places, hmmm I guess it is rather unoriginal, but I love Robin Hood, and I only write what I love, perhapse it doesn't rhyme, I know that it needs work but It really only the third poem that I have written so I don't have much experiance, I much perfer writing fantasy novels. Well thanks for the feedback.

A wonderful poem. Very imaginative and thoughtfully written. But you’ve not rhymed these lines:
“He brought his men to the forest land,
there Robin Hood met his foe again.
He sang his song and shot his bow,”
Though I’m a terrible rhymist myself, do you think ‘man’ and ‘band’ rhyme? You forgot the full stop at the very last line! Why don’t you add the name of Sherwood Forest and maybe something about Robin’s archery skills? Anyway, I enjoyed reading this poem very much and you write very well.

Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it! It does need a lot of work, but I don't know when I'll have time to do it. I'm doing NaNoWriMo right now so I am very very very busy.

FantasyTeen

Imaginaitive, I suppose, putting yourself there, but also cliche. There are a lot of rhymes in this piece that seem to be forced and overall, I think this poem could be a lot better.

I liked the poem, it had a lot of imagery and was like a story. But the rhyming was a little strange.