The Person In The Mirror

Great poem.

Maybe if you gave a little more on why he person feels cold and dark? Not necessary, but it would give the reader more of a background. Either way, the story holds emotion. It's not too deep though, and I think with maybe a few word changes, you could make it that more deep.

Mickeystwin33 wrote:Who is that dark-hearted person staring back at me?
The only people in this room are my reflection and me.
But that person can't be me,

It might just be me...but I think it sounds kinda strange with "me" at the end of the first three lines. Maybe reword it? It'd fit better with the rest of the poem, since each line ends differently.

This poem was great, don't get me wrong. With a little revision, it can be amazing.
Great job, you really pulled this off.
-Brie♥

I really like this poem. I found the last line a bit weird though, about his/her cold insides. Maybe there could of been a better way to finish off the poem like, "Who would could melt my icy heart?" or something. Not an important change but I just found that a little weird.

I also think that you ended the first two lines with me... that could've changed a little bit. Again, not very important

But apart from those minor details I found your poem expressive and very enjoyable to read

Great poem ad good content. I can perceive the feeling you're trying to give off. I think the flow needs a little work, though. I agree with what Deanie said about the last line. The last line will often make or break a poem. Making it nice and smooth will give the rest of the poem a more prominent meaning. Great job though, hun! I really did enjoy, that's just me being nit-picky ;P