Death? Are you there?

Death?
Are you there?
Are you even listening?

You have taken my friends,
My family,
And my only love,

You have forced me to do things,
Things I did not even imagine,
Unforgivable things,

You gave me a choice,
Lose my friend,
Or my love,

I took my friends life,
Painless to him,
But it ripped out my heart,

My love,
Locked up in a cell,
Though alive and well,
Took her own life,
Saying “All will be fine.”,
Now I’m left,
Alone in this fortress,
You have taken everything,
I held dear,

But I want you to know,
That you have no power,
For I will see them again,
And you will not be able to take them away.

Hello there
Now I'm not much of a poet, but I thought I'd review one of your submissions

I felt that this was a very interesting take- interesting and creative- on the subject of death. It's not something I see everyday. However, I'll have to say that at some points I felt you were a little bit over dramatic so much so that it became nagging and kind of boring. I can sense that this was a spur of the moment kind of poem where you feel a rush of words just pouring out and you feel inspired at that point, but you know- it got boring at some instances. But hey, it's not that bad.

My love,
Locked up in a cell,
Though alive and well,
Took her own life,
Saying “All will be fine.”,
Now I’m left,
Alone in this fortress,
You have taken everything,
I held dear,

I felt out of it all, this was my favourite stanza because of the different ways I can interpret it.

Keep writing and good luck!

I like this, it's an interesting way to look at things. I enjoy seing other people's views on things like this, it really makes you understand all the different ways things can be interpreted. Anyways, this was a very nice write. It was enjoyable and nicely written. Great job and good luck with your future writes.

helloo kjr5horses!
I'll be reviewing this for you today! I want to start off with saying that I really like this write. It has a lot of emotions in it. I like the idea behind it (it is original) and I love how you worked it out.
Just a few little nitpicks:

Death?
Are you there?
Are you even listening?

You have taken my friends,
My family,
And my only love, I think this comma should be a period

You have forced me to do things,
Things I did not even imagine,
Unforgivable things, It would read better if you'd put a period instead

You gave me a choice,
Lose my friend,
Or my love, Period would read better here too

I took my friends life, friends should be "friend's"
Painless to him,
But it ripped out my heart, A period would look better here

My love,
Locked up in a cell,
Though alive and well,
Took her own life,
Saying “All will be fine.”, No comma needed here
Now I’m left,
Alone in this fortress,
You have taken everything,
I held dear, Period would look better

But I want you to know,
That you have no power,
For I will see them again,
And you will not be able to take them away.

Other than that: great write! I love how you started it and I love how you ended it XD
I really enjoyed reading this and I hoped this review helped a little.
Keep writing!
-qaralynn-

Cool.

The flow was wonderful, there was great amounts of emotion, and no grammatical errors (that I could see). This poem was really great and I loved the last stanza...
Ha, she just laughed in your face Death. You will never take her down.

Keep writing,
Alzora

This was a really well-written poem! The emotion was very strong and powerful. The story behind it kept my interest throughout, and the title drew me in. There weren't any grammatical errors that I could find. Actually, there weren't any issues or corrections that I could find at all Ahahahah
It's perfect the way it is (;
So sorry, but this review is probably not very helpful (a)
Anyways, amazing poem. I loved it!

Hi.. This was really very nice and I really liked it... (*clicks like*)... A pretty innovative idea, you know, like writing to death... Very good work!!
Harshita:)

I agree the piece has fantastic flow and voice brought to life with emotion and pain. The lines flow one to another without really tripping over themselves even as I read then aloud. However I've seen this type of melodramatic death poem so many times that it may limit my enjoyment somewhat, and it's not mug o a fresh take I found as opposed to what other reviews have said, but maybe thats just me. I've read of people talking to death and asking why and being mysterious, and you pull thi off cery well here actually.

But i think you need to delve deeper into the pain and avoid this generalizations (so what if you suffer? Unless I know how I can't connect) give more concrete info as to the pain and loss and I feel both you and your readers will connect better for it.

That said it's a solid piece and you have the voice and skill to adapt in writing to improve it I'm sure. Good luck and well done!

This is based off a character from a novel series I am writing. So you will find out the depth etc.... in a year or so

All good and well, but a piece should stand on it's own.

Which this does though.
Good luck on the novel. I finished mine a couple months back and have an agent who may be interested. Takes alot of work and hassle, hope it works out for ya

Well, it was indeed a good piece of work…………………I experienced the emotions that you tried to point out while reading it………………..moreover it was a very good and uncommon topic …………………keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you have got a matured outlook on your life………………………your poem reveals it…………….