Thank You and Farewell

Hello! This is a very well-written and, at the same time, confusing poem. Yet, I see what is going on.

There are two people talking here, I think. One is saying that he is a fool, that he was only lusting for the girl who is sworn to be his bride, while the girl is a fool, she was looking for love. They both call each other fools. The boy, which is the speaker, is more of a fool because he had someone who wanted to love him, but he lost her. Basically, the speaker is telling a story that is in code, that the reader has to decipher. This is truly a well-written and smart poem! Kudos for this poem!

I also notice how you truly follow the rule, show, don't tell; again, I give you kudos! For example,

"Beheaded by my love of the past that I never ever,

Was lust and not love but last to forsee that I am a fool.

A fool that seeks love and compassion and sought it in your eye,

But lures me that you are my bride sworn above."

This truly shows how you use language to make this poem so interesting and perplexing and how you only use concrete details. Although, I notice you wrote "forsee," I think you meant to write "foresee."

Also, I notice you have a subtitle for the poem, which gives a hint as to what this poem is about. I think you should remove this because I think the reader would want to figure out what the poem is all about on their own rather than have a hint as to what the poem is about. I really like the ending! Very revealing! I hope you keep writing poetry like this one!

That was amazing.

@Fran94: Gee! Thanks... How you see my work and how I see it as the author quite relate to each other but not all. I can't blame myself for not getting what I meant and for me, I just let my readers to fall unto their imagination and see what I meant of. Thanks again!

@trackrunner1999: Thank you too!

I guess I make you guys happy.