Temptation

Beautiful is all I can say.
Eyes burning,
Heads turning,
You won't ever know.

You look at the world with eyes glowing.
You love life with your mind all-knowing.
The best is made from the worst,
everything is brighter.

Your smile captured me,
you entranced me.
I dizzily awake from my illusions.
I have to pull myself away.

I think that is a very interesting take on temptation an d how it affects people. And the description was fantastic

It's an alright poem. I adored your description and flow but it was very short. Maybe, describe why he/she loves him/her. Not just their looks. MAKE IT LONGA!

Short and sweet, a simple poem that caught my eye. I think the ending could have be a little different, it kind of was rushed and cut off quickly, but overall a nice piece. I think it just needs a little more to it, maybe a deeper view into the feelings and emotions of the person voicing the poem. Also, the first two lines of the second verse seemed somewhat jarring. I guess two lengthy lines without breaking it up a little? I have to say the first verse was my favorite! I liked the unique style of the poem!

<..> Kat

I really like this poem. It was a good idea and a very nice way to approach temptation. But I agree with halogirl4197 make it longer! It was so nice I wanted it to continue for more. Maybe add more temptations? I also really love your use of descriptive words. Apart from that, awesome poem!

Hi,

Job well done! There were, like, two mistakes. I think they were mistakes, but they could have been intentional. Anyways, good job. Your grammar and spelling were fine. I liked it.

Farewell,
A.