Well, I liked how it was short and simple, but I'm not sure what was going on here. I kind of get the picture of someone sitting, smoking in a musty library. So it painted a somewhat vague image, but I couldn't picked up on much emotion or a meaning behind it. Although it's nice the way it is, maybe you could elaborate, explain a little more to the reader, but if you're just trying to visulize a thought in your head, I think it worked out nicely.
Sorry I can't be more helpful with my advice, I'm still not very experienced in poetry or giving reviews. Overall I liked your style, how it was put together, it has good potential! Ah... I hope I'm not discouraging, and it's probably better not to listen to me anyway, I don't really know what I'm saying half the time!
Anyway, nice job! I would definately be interested in reading more of your writing!
<..> Kat
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits.. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. ~Unknown
Hi-ya!!! It's so short and simple, that my mind over thinks it.....Not sure where it's going, but Brilliant!!!!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.
I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.
Hi. Here for a quick review! I must say: this is absolutely excellent. There are so many layers and dimensions to your poem: I read it again and again until it painted a full picture in my mind. The drive and emotion and story behind such a simplistic piece of writing is mindblowing. Really beautiful. Anyway * like * and look forward to your next poem. How do say 'keep writing' in japenese - any ideas? Lol -Alia
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. — Anne Lamott
