If only...

If there was a way I could take your pain
I'd cover your heart with mine
If there were a way I could feel your sorrow
I'd ask for your touch

If there was a way I could taste your tears
I'd let you have my toung
If there was a way I could hear those painful words
For you, I'd lend you my ears

If there was a way you could know all my thoughts
I'd give you my mind

If there was a way you could..
If only...
Understand the love I have for you...
Not even giving you my heart... would show how much i really do...

Hi, I really liked this poem it's so sweet!
Only two tiny nitpicks:
*tongue.
And in the last stanza where it says

If there was a way you could..
If only...

I think the second line needs extending a bit and wondered what you thought of 'If only you would...'?

Anyway it's totally up to you. This poem is great, keep writing!
-Megan

This poem is good you can feel the emotion behind it. I like the last stanza but you forgot to capitilize the "I" in "would show you how much i really do." Other then that is really good. Keep it up!

Hello Tarshni,

Firstly I have a few nitpicks which are either underlined or in bold in the quoted poem below, because I found a few mistakes which made me scream because this is so good and it doesn't deserve to be pulled down by teeny typos (I presume they are typos anyway, am I right?)

If there was a way I could take your pain< I loved this line it was a great way to introduce the topic!
I'd cover your heart with mine<I didn't quite understand this line, it might need rewording.
If there were a way I could feel your sorrow< That is really neat I have no problem with that
I'd ask for your touch< This line is shorter than the rest, try and maybe expand it a little.

If there was a way I could taste your tears< Personally I don't like this line, it just doesn't make sense.
I'd let you have my toung< Tongue is spelled very badly, tongue not toung, apart from that it's good!
If there was a way I could hear those painful words< This is all good, I have not criticism.
For you, I'd lend you my ears< Lend you my ears? How do you lend someone your ears, I like the strangeness

If there was a way you could know all my thoughts< Perfect! This is really good and certainly my favorite line in the poem
I'd give you my mind< This is also fabulous !

Everything downwards is all good!
If there was a way you could..
If only...
Understand the love I have for you...
Not even giving you my heart... would show how much i really do...

Overall I really liked this, keep up the good writing!

From CuteJackRussell