i am a rifle

So, I was writing random poetry (which sucked) on a history lesson today. But then this one sorta flowed out of my pen and I saw it had potential, so I sorta continued it on the next lesson also. Anyhow, I really like this myself, so please give me advice on how to still improve, cause I know it's far from perfect. I can take harsh reviews, no problem. Do try to enjoy!
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I spit out bullets and suck in lives,
I create orphans and widowed wives.
I am a tool of human desperation,
fueled by the effects of hasty castration.
I uphold the honor of ancient tribes;
I purchase their freedom with human hides.
I'm merely an instrument, a lone voice,
part of a symphony of unforgiving choice.

They say revenge is sweet and blood is red,
but revenge is dished out in bitter lead.
The second statement, however, rings too true,
bodies cry crimson tears, as I run'em through.

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I liked this one and I can't say that I had a favorite line because I loved them all. I think that this is a really good poem. Very dramatic.

I really liked this. The ancient tribes bit made me stumble, because I couldn't think of ancient tribes with guns, but it fits with the gist of this, and there really isn't anything for me to recommend.
I knew I couldn't be the only one who writes random poems instead of paying attention to the history lesson.
Thanks for the awesome read.

Thank you for the comments! Glad I'm not the only one who thought it good.

With the ancient tribes I was going for something like we've all been part of ancient tribes before...I swear it sounds better in my head!

First thing I noticed was that you don't really follow a specific rhythm. While some poets take syllable counts and perfect rhymes rather seriously when it comes to reviewing poetry, I don't really mind it when everything's a little off. Personally it sounds fine in my head, and considering I was able to pick up a rhythm despite the change of beats between lines and whatnot, I'd say this is just fine. The only reason I brought all this up is to let you know that some people may not like the flow too much if the syllable count in each line isn't uniform. But like I said. I think it works.

Second thing I noticed: overall I like the first stanza. I'd go through it and nitpick, but in all honesty I think editing should be focused on the second stanza for now. It's just not nearly as strong as your first. Some of is was, for lack of a better word, cheesy, the rest was just dull. Perhaps resolve everything in a more captivating manner to better suit the strength you start off with in the beginning of the poem?

Other than that, I really like this. A refreshing read - I don't see poetry like this too much anymore.

Hello there, I'm Masque, and I shall be reviewing your poem today. -ehem-
I really enjoyed this poem. I feel like it put the idea of war into words very well.

I spit out bullets and suck in lives, At first I was thinking "suck in lives?" but I can see what you mean here.
I create orphans and widowed wives.
I am a tool of human desperation,
fueled by the effects of hasty castration. I feel like this line is slightly off. Maybe it's the rhyme, or maybe it's because there are several more syllables than the others.
I uphold the honor of ancient tribes; I like this line. To me it seemed to say that the war is simply fought to keep up the honor and reputation of a civilization that has been around for a long time.
I purchase their freedom with human hides. This line gave me the creeps- it's very effective.
I'm merely an instrument, a lone voice,
part of a symphony of unforgiving choice.

They say revenge is sweet and blood is red,
but revenge is dished out in bitter lead.
The second statement, however, rings too true, There is something awkward about this line. I would cut out "however". Also, the last comma should be a semi-colon.
bodies cry crimson tears, as I run'em through.

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Keep them coming!

Happy writing!
Masquerade

I liked the meaning of this poem, but the rhythmic flow wasn't very good. It was pretty good, I guess, if you thought it up during history. Usually that class makes me go brain dead...

Dramatic indeed! What a profound poem

I spit out bullets and suck in lives,
I create orphans and widowed wives.
I am a tool of human desperation,

You begin straight to the point, and go deep in your idea. This is a very effective method in order to capture your reader's attention and curiousity.

I'm merely an instrument, a lone voice,
part of a symphony of unforgiving choice.

Great lines, they make me shiver!

As well as the two ending lines:

The second statement, however, rings too true,
bodies cry crimson tears, as I run'em through.

Thank you for all the positive feedback! Good that I'm not the only one who thinks it's good, would seem vain.

As for the flow, no, it isn't consistent, but if you read the poem out loud, I assure you it rolls off the tongue. And earendil, I'll see what I can do about strengthening the second stanza, though I warn you that I might not be able to think up anything better.

nice