nothing friendly, nothing pleasant

He came into my room while i was sleeping
He woke me with a gentle touch to the cheek
My eyes opened and i looked at him, but said nothing
He wasn't wearing any clothes
The cold, hungry look in his eyes gave me shivers
tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me
He pulled mt nightgown over mt head and climbed on top of me

I begged for him to stop
I said that he was hurting while tears ran from my eyes

"Shh" he whispered tenderly.
His hands parted my legs and he climbed between them
He layed his body on mine, planting tender kisses on my lips and neck
"Daddy," I whimpered. "you're hurting me"

I begged for him to stop
But he didn't

He put duct tape over my mouth when i cried out as he moved himself over me, so fiercely i almost screamed

I begged for him to get off of me
Even though my mouth was covered
But he doesn't
The pain is so unbearable i try to cry out
"Don't fight it" he pants over me.
"Accept it"

But i didn't want to accept it
"There's no use in fighting me" he said.
Then he suck in a slow breath and panted,
"Ah, you feel so warm and soft"
I fought with all my might
Kicking
Throwing my head from side to side
Anything to get him off me
Anything
But nothing works
The pain just worsens
He is bigger
He is stronger,
I am smaller
I am weaker
Finally he stops,
collapsing over me,
gasping for air he buried his face in my neck
He pulls the tape away from my mouth before laying a tender kiss on my lips
He says "Good bye for now,"
and is gone

I lay alone in bed

My body slick with sweat
The inside if my thighs smeared with blood as well as the sheets beneath me
My pillows were damp with tears that still came
My legs were numb

Asking myself what just happened,
And I tell myself...
I don't know

Good golly. This poem shows a father raping his daughter. You got nerve to bring light to such dark subject. It is dark, but I like the way you made it. Keep writing for the sake of writing.

you're right Jaja!! it was deffiently a step up from the first one i absoluetly love your poetry you touch on things i'm sure no one else would dare to touch keep writing my buddy.

Okay first of all look up the Dark I Know Well because this song is a poetic version of that song in my opinion. It's very aggressive and I admire you for that. You tackled an issue with less tact and care than someone doing it for a personal agenda and that's what made it so much more powerful than someone doing it with nothing in there mind more than to prove something. I honestly admire you as a writer.

Amazing. Writing about this subject is such a hard thing to do. But you faced it head on. You have courage and I admire that. This was very moving, keep on writing.

I think there is something wrong with this site! This must be like the thousandth thing i've read about rape, or torture, or molestation or incest...

If this was a personal experience, or that of somebody you know, then my condolences, BUT I LOVED THIS

I feel dirty, anyway...

I like how you didn't hold back, and just went straight at the subject, holding back on things like this isn't good; no rhyming, nothing, just straight up description and stream of consciousnes has a great effect.

Hello there
I finally made it.

So this is a pretty dark subject, I admire the honesty!

Asking myself what just happened,
And I tell myself...
I don't know

Out of the whole piece, this was my favourite part.

Now, poetry is not really my strong point, but this whole poem to me seemed a little bit too forward. There is no air of mystery so to speak. It's like a snippet from a scene in a short story or prose. When I read poetry, I like it when I can 'read between the lines' or interpret certain points because of how they are creatively constructed. The stanza I highlighted above has that. It leaves me asking questions. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with how you wrote it though

He came into my room while i was sleeping
He woke me with a gentle touch to the cheek
My eyes opened and i looked at him, but said nothing
He wasn't wearing any clothes
The cold, hungry look in his eyes gave me shivers
tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me
He pulled mt nightgown over mt head and climbed on top of me

Another thing you should take note of is punctuation. This stanza for example is lacking punctuation. If you really think about it, it reads as one sentence because there is no full-stop anywhere! Also, your 'i's are not capitals.

Anyway, this is a very difficult topic to write about and fully convey the right emotions, so I commend you for doing a good job.

Like I said before, poetry is not exactly my strong point, but I hope I could help a little.

Keep writing and good luck!

Hey, Janika. :3
Here as requested.
So, my overall impression of this poem was "Oh god." It's such a harsh subject, that I was surprised...but intrigued. It takes some guts to post something so heavy on a site like this, so I applaud you. That being said, I did feel that some of it was a little too explicit. Well, let me rephrase. Not necessarily explicit as in inappropriate but as in descriptive. The subject is a great premise to really delve into some twisted emotions, and while rape certainly evokes fear, I felt that only the surface of that emotion might have been scratched. But don't take this as I felt nothing when reading this. From the first stanza, I had a sick feeling in my stomach, which is good...in a weird sort of way, but that's what writing is about, yes? Anyways, I did like this, and your style flows nicely...and that's about all I can say about the poetry format. ^^'
So, details:

"Don't fight it" he pants over me.
"Accept it"

This gave me chills. *thumbs up*

He says "Good bye for now,"
and is gone

K, I think this is sort of what I wanted to push you to add more throughout this piece. Here, the malice is clearly implied without being too obvious. It's this subtlety that for me creates the greatest emotion.

Now, three different times, you used the word "begging" to describe the girl's struggle. I wasn't clear on if that was an intentional repetition--which in that case, I suppose it works--but if not, I felt that a different word could have been used to replace it once or twice. I'd just suggest playing around with it so that the description doesn't get stagnant.

Other than those couple things, I think the others before me have it covered.
Thanks for inviting me to review this, and I hope my humble opinion helped in some fashion. ^^' You certainly have talent, and do continue pushing the envelope with such sensitive topics. Sometimes I think writers or artists of any medium can become gun-shy of the more extreme subjects. I know I've been guilty of that. So yeah, kudos, dear.
If you have any questions, need a review, or anything at all, just find me on mah page. :3
Much loves,
Bunny

That is vary dark. But well written and is worded nicely. Despite the darkness of it it was descriptive which is good when you are writing a poem, short story or even a novel. Oh and of course nice job!