reincarnation

Never remembering their whole past lives,
just the feeling of hope inside.

The eyes that see right through her soul,
the thoughts that sweep and wrap her whole.

The future unknown but always once more,
again and again until the feelings are born.

To hear the rain and feel its pain,
crying once more 'the end is near.'

The smile that lingers, the touch that tingles,
the mouth that quivers cold and afraid.

Never for the last time the three words are said,
over and over until all things are dead.

Their spirits in the air waiting and ready,
to be put in a time where their lives are...........

Hi,

I enjoyed the couplets here, especially the sixth one.

I'd take another look at couplets four, five and seven, and work in the slant rhyme here too rather than having no rhyme. I think a slant rhyme would be better than a whole rhyme as most of your rhymes here are slant.

I'd also cut "the" before "feelings as it makes the rhythm a little bumpy.

An enjoyable read.

Hope this helps. Feel free to p.m me if you have any questions.

Jas

Hey, I really liked this:) Very deep stuff!

The smile that lingers, the touch that tingles,
the mouth that quivers cold and afraid.

This is awesome, and a very vivid image, too)
I can't really criticize, this is just so awesome....
Keep up the great work:) x

Hey there! Hows it hanging?
This poem definitely flows really well, and I really like the mysterious ending.

Never remembering their whole past lives,
just the feeling of hope inside. (Relatively good beginning, could be better though. Better in vocabulary use perhaps. Use more beautiful words like 'no memory of their past lives'

The eyes that see right through her soul,
the thoughts that sweep and wrap her whole. (Again, I'd say you could use better wording here)

The future unknown but always once more,
again and again until the feelings are born. (i'm not quite sure what you mean here, better clarity)

To hear the rain and feel its pain, (this verse is great! I really like it )
crying once more 'the end is near.'

The smile that lingers, the touch that tingles, ( EXCELLENT description!
the mouth that quivers cold and afraid.

Never for the last time the three words are said, (By three words do you mean ' i love you' ?' )
over and over until all things are dead.

Their spirits in the air waiting and ready,
to be put in a time where their lives are........... ( Nice ending. I like it very much)

Overall it's a good poem I'd say, except the topic is rather unclear. Try and get under the skin of what topic yuo're trying t bring out. But I thikn you're very talented because you use very nice descriptions.
Hope this has been of some help!