Yellowhammer

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
Singing gracefully from the hedge,
Don’t let the sound of a danger
Fill your song with dread!
Sing to me your repertoire,
As you tilt your gilded head,
Or venture into the sunlight
And build your nest instead.

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
You never seem to rest!
Plucking at the grass,
Collecting twigs for your nest!
As I gaze in awe at you,
You draw a beady eye on me,
And with your little beak full,
You glide into the tree.

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
An intruder is coming near!
I tell you to run, he’ll kill you,
But you’re paralyzed in fear!
As the chainsaw revs and growls,
You bravely protect your nest.
If only, little Yellowhammer,
You knew it would be your death!

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
Where is your wonderful song?
Now the broken hedge is silent
And this stillness is so wrong!
In the place of your leafy home,
Now runs an evil winding path.
How could someone do this?
You suffered under his wrath.

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
How I wish I could hear you sing!
How I wish I could see you preen
Your feathered tawny wing!
And now my heart is silent,
Still without your song,
Hedgerows will never be the same,
Now that the Yellowhammer is gone.

Wow. is all i can say. very good poem. you utilize words so that you grip areader and make 'em care 'bout 'dis birdie. very well written. you have an excellent grasp on the more sophisticated side of language, and did an excellent job. a few crits;
in the last stanza, there needs to be a comma b/tween feathered and yelllow.
also, there was an and that needed to be dropped before 'this stilness'.

'kay? That's my opinion. I really wish i could rhyme like you.... *green with envy as her arms shake from tourettes syndrome* anyway, i loved it. PM me if you have another poem like this. it is in all respects a marvelous piece of literature. I like critting pieces like this. so i'l stop pouring out praise in hopes your head doesn't swell, and say 'bye.
Cheers!
==Voxina

Okay...
This is really random...
But I just have to say that when I read this part, I chuckled.

My golden, little Yellowhammer,
Singing gracefully from the hedge,
Don’t let the sound of a chainsaw
Fill your song with dread!

When I read the line in bold I was certainly caught off gaurd. I thought it was a nice and pretty poem until I read that line and all of a sudden I picture a person chasing around a yellow bird with a chainsaw. But as I read on I felt the nice and fluffy feel, then all of a sudden the person cuts down the hedge and it makes me feel horrible for my original thoughts. It was just really unexpected and I was really surprised at how you still seemed able to make everything rhyme.
I give you a 7/10.
Just because that poem was epic.

I love this poem sooo much! it's so cleaver and cute! You mixed the perfect brew of witty-ness and meaning. It's by far the best poem I read since I got on this site. Great Job!