Black Angel

I wrote this poem sometime early Memorial Weekend. I'm sorry it's so... Dark. I've been going through some stuff recently and I'm just kinda in this dark period. Writing it down just seemed to make me feel better. You'll have to forgive me if it's awful and the fact it's so long, I don't usually write poems. I wasn't even sure if this was the right category to post it in, haha. This is also my first post, so. Well anyway, here it is.

When I look at the world
I see happiness.
People smiling.
People laughing.
People enjoying their lives.
Children playing and giggling.
Busy adults working hard
To keep their lives
As good and rewarding
As it can be.
I see the seniors
In their cap and gowns
Smiling, planning,
About to break off into the world
And begin their real lives.

But what do I see
When I see myself?
Moody and misunderstood
Scarred by mistakes from the past
Things I just can't
Seem to rid myself of.
I see
The words people have
Said to me over the years, months,
That hurt.
I see a world
Slowly turning
Without me in it.
I see
Bitterness.
I see the past,
The past.
The things I can't forget.
I see people's lives
And people's problems
With my own.
Most of the time,
I don't know what I see
Because I don't know
Who I really am.
At least not anymore.
It all just seems to be
A swirl.
A swirl of mass confusion
That just sticks to my soul
Like glue.
I see darkness,
But I don't know why
Because it wasn't there before.
But deep in the back,
I see a light
A bright light
I try to stumble torwards it,
But I can't seem to get there.
The light was when
Things made sense.
People were normal.
Life was different.
And I knew who I was.
I miss not having
To hesitate.
I miss
Knowing who I am.
I miss...
Myself.
Because I know
This isn't me.

Life is keeping me
From the light.
My parents are my chains.
My friends
Are trying to hide the light.
My identity
Is trying to convince me
It's not there.
And my everyday drama
And situations
Are trying to
Get rid of the light forever.
I keep trying.
But the darkness
Is still growing.
And I start to wonder,
Is the light really there at all?

Honestly I'm not good at reviewing works.. but honestly, I can relate to that. It seems like something is keeping you from revealing who you are. "Insecurity! I guess...." Well. Keep it real! You can't enjoy life if you just pretend to be part of something that you know you're bothering to be with. Don't get stocked! The world is big! You still can find someone(friends) that can really appreciate who you are.

Just carried away... Hope to see more of your works. Keep writing!

Senzafine

Wow, this is really intense! But I know how you feel, like

Is the light really there at all?

But just remember to be true to yourself, and don't pretend to be someone you're not! Do things your own way, and don't let anyone keep you from seeing the light - in the world, I guess!

The poem is really great, and just remember not to get carried away by the dark angel! I want to read more from you!

Thanks you guys. Actually what you guys said about the meaning was right. But anyway, thank you for the help on it. And the word of wisdom too.

your work is really clever, you get your point accross, i only hope that times get better for you. I know times are hard, from september i start my last year of school, ( i live in england things are different over here) although your poem doesnt ryhm it has a deffinate feeling to it .

i agree with what they say. just stay true to urself and always look towards the light when u need it. and as for where ur poem belongs, i thnk u found the right place for it. always write what's in ur heart and dnt let anybody tell u otherwise. ur work is good and i hope to c more of it!! keep writimg!!

Thank you. I'll try and write some more. Is there anything in it that just stands out or seems wrong... or anything that needs to be changed?