Vow of Silence

7 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1320
Reviews 37
One morning,
an ordinary, usual morning.
We'll all wake to silence
and leave it that way.
Nobody will speak
silence and mute
will fill every room.
Salty tears
will sting gaping wounds.
No more empty secrets
to be shared,
eager lips to curious ears.
Until one clueless cry
will abrupt all
and life will continue.
As if...... nothing.
"You can't find another me, but I can find a million yous."

"My shadow followed when you walked away and ever since that day my life has never been the same"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 60
Hey there
This is very deep. I like it. One little problem, the part where you say "silence and mute will fill every room", the word 'mute' though it grammatical makes senses it poetically doesn't fit. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say but one word can interfere with the flow of an entire sentence. Just look at it and if you like change it. Search deep you'll find something more effective. Other than that it was great. Proper structure and you didn't ramble which happens so often to writers when they can't keep focus or they are just filled with things to say. (like me right now LOL)
Bravo!
Keep it up. xx Upile xx




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 60
Hey there
This is very deep. I like it. One little problem, the part where you say "silence and mute will fill every room", the word 'mute' though it grammatical makes senses it poetically doesn't fit. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say but one word can interfere with the flow of an entire sentence. Just look at it and if you like change it. Search deep you'll find something more effective. Other than that it was great. Proper structure and you didn't ramble which happens so often to writers when they can't keep focus or they are just filled with things to say. (like me right now LOL)
Bravo!
Keep it up. xx Upile xx




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
Hey This is very deep. I like it. Your doing great........................so is this part of the novel your writing?? Cause it's like really good(; Keep on mosting!




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Gender None specified
Points 1245
Reviews 142
I really love, and really like this poem. It is very deep to me, and I really think that it would be useful as, maybe, getting published in a book of poems. Good job on it, and congrats on capturing a deeper meaning, like I try to and fail to do sometimes.

Salty tears
will sting gaping wounds.
I really really like this part of one of your stanzas.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1666
Reviews 35
Mysterious. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, the death of a family member perhaps. The flow was a little jerky but otherwise I thought it was good. You created some vivid imagery and even if it wasn't clear to me what it was about I still felt the sorrow. Good writing.
Dreams come in waves
to take us home
Daylight stitches our eyes open
and we flicker on
-Eyes stitched open:The Telegraphs




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 797
Reviews 22
wow! this is really deep and mysterious. I liked it a lot. You were very descriptive and I felt the emotion radiating from this. I have no complaints. Keep writing!
So many people treat you like you’re a kid
so you might as well act like one,
and throw your television
out of a hotel window.
–Gerard Way



There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
— William Shakespeare