If it Matters

I discovered rhyming was easier than I originally thought, but I am clueless when it comes to proper poetry. If my poem doesn't make sense or anything at all is wrong let me know. I should probably stick with writing novels... But I guess if I never try poetry and learn from my mistakes I'll never get any better.

If it Matters

When I sigh,
It’s hard to admit,
All this high
Gone to the pit.
Left to die
Because of a fit.
Now I’m left to cry,
But I’ll never admit.

I lie,
Only to forget the rift
That you drive
Into the sick.
Like this poor stick,
Who can only trip,
Ruining the gifts
That I try to grip.

When you kick,
You tend to forget,
Who receives
The grieves.
You found a hole
In my soul.
You just rendered
Me to surrender.

I want to forget
The times you gripe,
Saying I’m not alright.
But you won’t dismiss,
When I miss,
I always risk
Losing this.
To lose it I wish.

When I drift,
I let myself sift
Through all the hits,
All the lifts.
But when I think,
I truly sink
Into the faces.
In with the hated.

Leaving my smile
To run the mile.
The one that breaks the great,
And saves the lives at stake.
Learning to overtake
The life I could fake.
Letting a rope
Reach down for hope.

Writing poetry without rhyme is like playing tennis with the net down. However, I suggest you research other rhyming schemes, such as the villanelle, clerihew, cinquain, ottava, etc. Using a familiar, established rhyming scheme would help the piece flow better.

I would also suggest you use some punctuation. It seems to be a recurring theme on this site that people think that just because they're writing a poem it's ok to leave out all punctuation. Try writing the poem out in normal sentences, with punctuation in the normal places, then break it up into the appropriate lines. It would make it read much better. For example,

I lie,
Only to forget the rift
That you drive
Into the sick.
Like this poor stick,
Who can only trip,
Ruining the gifts
That I try to grip.

It's not a wholly unsuccessful venture into rhyming poetry, keep going

I completely disagree, writing poetry without rhyme is not playing with the net down, it's more like walking around with no gravity, no boundaries. Now then, to review your poem. It was good, a little choppy but not unsuccessful, I liked it, I would read it again too. There were parts where I didn't understand what you were trying to say, but overall it was very good. Keep Writing!

Ok, first off, I didn't read the previous comments because it just becomes a reviewers battle field of disagreements.
Here's what I thought of your piece:
Yes, Rhyming can be helpful in poetry, but it's not limited to rhyming words all the time. I really think you have a great poem skeleton here, but you did stick to the very basic words, sometimes they even felt forced. Any one can write poetry, it just takes a couple stabs to write better poetry. I'd encourage you to keep a copy of this draft, and play around with it to develop the emotion and not so much rhyming in it. Help us to feel something. Move us so we can see your side.

My favorite line:

Leaving my smile
To run the mile.

You do have the potential to write brilliant poetry! I whole heartily applaud you! Keep it up!

Thank you for all the feedback! I'll remember all of your advice when I rewrite my poem. When I finish I'll post it.