Blood Tears (Chapter 4)

My friends were already waiting for me by the time I got there. All their faces were as pale as paper and their eyes pink and bloodshot.
“Oh, my God!” Cried Clair, running up and tackling me into a hug.
Brady strolled up behind her and gave me the look over, “Damn Ari, you look like shit.”
“Brady!” Snapped Clair, turning around to jab him in the arm, “ I’m sure she’s well aware of her looks, she doesn’t need your help!”
A light laugh escaped my lips. “It’s fine. I already know I look awful.” I assured them. Just then the doctor walked up to us.
“You must Ariel, your Mother is waiting for you.” Informed a tall man with dark brown hair and wearing a white lad coat.
“Is she alright?" I asked, not wanting to know the answer. His dark eyes locked on mine and we all knew the answer. I blinked back my tears as Zach tangled his fingers in between mine.
“Can we see her now?” He asked. The doctor nodded and lead us to her room.
Once outside he turned to us and breathed in deeply, “ I should warn you, I don’t know how long she’ll live. She has suffered from blood loss and head trauma, so she might not know who you are ,okay.” We all nodded in agreement as he opened the door, “Sara, look who came to visit.”
Mom smiled at us as we walked in, “How are my kids doing?” She asked, her voice rough and weak. Fine, they all answered as I examined my Mother, she was a familiar stranger to me now with her face, once tanned and smooth now plea and cut. And even though her bright smile was still painted on her full lips, I know this was the end.
“You’re dying aren’t you?” My voice cracking at the word, but she just grinned and lied, “No, sweetie, I’m fine it’s just a scratch, nothing to worry about-”
“Don’t lie to me, Mother!” I growled, my anger raging like a wildfire, “Not to my face, I deserve better than that.” I could feel the techie in the air, everyone was so still they didn’t even dare to breath as I stared my mom down, intently waiting.
She let out a heavy sigh, “So they told you, huh?”
“Don’t dodge the question, are you, or aren’t you-”
“YES!” she interrupted, “I’m dying.” her eye looked up at me pleaded me not to worry or be angry.
My jaw loosened up as her words hit me, ‘This really is the end…’ “I-I’m sorry.” I muttered hanging my head low, refusing to make eye content as she spoke.
“Don’t be." She soothed, "I’m just glad none of you where around to see my clumsy self do a face plant into the rail guard.” I know she was trying to be funny be I couldn’t find a hit humor in it to make myself laugh, “So…” I hastened, “This is good-bye?”
She nodded and gripped my hand, “ I’ve already called your Uncle and he’s arranged a taxi to pick you up tomorrow morning.”
“What?!” My mind went blank, ‘ My Uncle?’
Mom laughed softly which turned into a cough, “ You’ll be moving in with your Dad’s brother.” She explained after her coughing fit.
I gasped, trying to wrap my mind around it all, “You mean not only am I losing you, but I’m also losing my friends too!” A lump formed in my throat and tightened up, “What about school?”
Mom shot me a cold glare, “You’re not losing me, I’ll always be here and you’re friends will too.” I glanced at my friends as she continued, “As for school, your uncle is headmaster of a privet school and I’ve enrolled you there.” She coughed again, wheezing up blood all over her white sheets, “My time is up, but first, I want to give you this.” She let go of my hand and unlatched the silver chain from around her thin neck and handed it to me. I took the Safari butterfly necklace from her as she flashed her friendly smile one last time before closing her eyes and dying in front of us all.

I'm back again! This part is so sad! Let's go over it, shall we?

“You must Ari, your Mother is waiting for you.”

Okay, I know from personal stuff that doctors usually call you by your full name. But, if you want the nickname, that's fine too! Also, mother would be lowercase.

“YES!” she interrupted, “I’m dyeing.” her eye looked up at me pleaded me not to worry or be angry.

Sad part! So, it's not dyeing, it's dying. And also, capitalise the H after the dialogue since you end with a period.

Well, you're really improving on this story! There are a couple typos, but I'll let you sort those out! Great job!

Lucy Pennykettle

Aww, this is sad!! But it's actually really stellar . Just a few typos and/or grammatical errors I noticed:

“Oh my God!” Cried Clair, running up and tackling me into a hug.

I'm pretty sure there should be a comma after "Oh," Like, "Oh, my God!" Oh, and cried should be capitalized because the exclamation is kind of like a comma here--cried is a verb of speaking.

Brady strolled up behind her and gave me the look over, “Dame Ari, you look like shit.”

Dame should be d-a-m-n. (Don't put hyphens in it--I just did that cause I hate saying cuss words)

A light laugh escaped my lips, “It’s fine, I already know I look awful.” I assured them.

There should be a period after lips, and there should be a comma after awful. And after fine there should be a period--that's a comma splice. It should look like this:

A light laugh escaped my lips. “It’s fine. I already know I look awful,” I assured them.

I blinked back my tears as Zach tangled his fingers in between mine, “Can we see her now?” He asked.

There should be a period after mine, and I think you should start a new paragraph at "Can we...." It's a new speaker.

Fine, they all answered as I examined my Mother, she was a filmier stranger to me now with her face, once tanned and smooth now plea and cut.

I think you mean familiar, not filmier.

“You’re dying aren’t you?” My voice cracking at the word, but she just grinned and lied, “No sweetie, I’m fine it’s just a scratch, nothing to worry about-”

There should be a comma before sweetie. It's a noun of direct address.

“Don’t lie to me Mother!” I growled, my anger raging like a wildfire, “Not to my face, I deserve better than that.”

Another noun of direct address--there should be a comma before mother. Plus, mother shouldn't be capitalized.

“I-I’m sorry.” I muttered hanging my head low, refusing to make eye content as she spoke.

The period after sorry should be a comma.

“Don’t be, I’m just glad none of you where around to see my clumsy self do a face plant into the rail guard.”

I personally think it would sound a little smoother if you said:

"Don’t be," she soothed. "I’m just glad none of you where around to see my clumsy self do a face plant into the rail guard.”

You don't have to use soothed, or don't use this at all if you like. This is just a personal preference. If you don't put my version in there though, there should be a period after be.

She let go of my hand and unlatched the sliver chain from around her thin neck and handed it to me.

I think you mean silver, not sliver.

Sorry, I know this sounds harsh, but your story is really good!! . I get a little carried away with editing sometimes. The only habit, I guess that's the right word, that you seem to have is you put a comma before or after a quote, even if the sentence after that doesn't have a verb of speaking. You only put a comma after or before a quote if it says, "She/he said" or any other word for said. I hope that makes sense.
Again, sorry! Please, don't think this is meant to be harsh. I love the concept of the story. Great job!

Oh my god this was so sad, but Ari didn't sound that sad I mean wouldn't you damn go crazy if you saw your mother dying right in front of you...I actualy nearly cried...but I juts love your story...it all went so quickly....

Awww sad chapter I didn't like her mom, but dang that harsh. Ariel seems like she bad luck. I wonder what is going to happen next??? Can't wait to read the next chapter. I hope you didn't mind the replies every chapter, but i really really really like this story... plus I need the points. lol.