This Meadow

This Meadow
By Allie Rose

This meadow was once innocent,
Its grass was never dead,
But soon this scene bacame unclean,
The air so thick with dread.

Beware this barren clearing, my son,
Steer clear of its wrath.
For it will take you in, make you sin,
And you may want to come back.

It does not have a name, child,
But here he betrayed his love.
He made his mess, the trees seize to nest
The lonely, peaceful dove.

She ran here after he was revealed,
She saw what you see now.
She searched for lies as a disguise,
But all she found was truth.

So beware this barren clearing, my son,
Steer clear of its wrath.
For it will take you in, make you sin,
And you will want to come back.



I've been meaning to post this for FOREVER, so... Yeah. I wrote it a little while ago.
Yaaaaay!

~Allie Rose~

Yikes but wow. This poem is as deep as it is dark. I love the imagery for each line and your ability to tie a story, of why the meadow is the way it is, into this poem. It makes it interesting to not only read, but to imagine what had really happened that made this place so barren. I could see children being warned by their mothers not to go there but also to not do this act of leaving a woman like that. If this was to happen I feel as if the world would be a barren place to live in. Instead of a beautiful meadow.

~Ko-inu160~

He made his mess, the trees seize to nest
The lonely, peaceful dove.

This doesn't quite make sense...

Ok, this is a really cool poem but it has a couple of problems.

I can tell there is some emotion, but really, you need some more.
The whole thing flows really well except for the second and last stanzas. All the rest rhymes but these 2 parts. Go through and see if you can fix that.

Other than those problems it was really great! I think you're wonderful at rhyming (I can't rhyme for my life) and it's a really smooth poem. Great job

Keep writing,
Alzora