Obedience Training

Contains profanity.

Spoiler

Unedited NaPo. Thoughts, impressions, interpretations, criticisms and all of the like would be greatly appreciated. This will be my last non-new work I post on here, I promise

I told my dog to sit.
He stuck his tongue out and said, "No."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well," he said,
"you tell me when to eat,
you tell me when to sit,
and you're always throwing sticks.
I fucking hate sticks. Stop throwing them.
Who do you think you are,
calling yourself a master
when you can't even figure out the stove."
He paused for a moment,
then added, "Plus, your ears are weird. I don't respect them."
"I see," I muttered. "Do as you wish then."

Hey there!

Ummmmmm... Maybe there was some deep meaning to this I just haven't seen yet, but this was a little weird. I liked it though. It seemed not so sweet, short, and very to the point.

Although, it seemed comical. This was very good, and maybe if I knew the meaning of this (if there even is one, maybe I'm just overlooking it! xD) then I might've been able to appreciate it more.

Anyways, it was pretty good. Nice job.

~Amfli
GO TEAM TOXIC NUDIBRANCH!

I love this! Especially the lines about the sticks and the ears! I disagree with Amflifler--it doesn't really need a deeper meaning and it's one of those poems that expresses what everyone's thinking but don't know how to put into words--great job on this!

Sarebear

That was the funniest thing!! Really refreshing after all this hard-core, self-loathig, pain-bitching bullshit!! LOL

Why hello there! Alright then so I liked this and it grew on me more the second and third times I read it, but I also found it a little rough and not as refined as your other poem. My interpretation is that the title refers to the dog's training of the human instead of the other way around, very clever. It's a good base for a poem, my cat certainly has me well trained! But anyway, I liked that it wasn't obvious at first and it made for a nice twist. Just some comments on your choice of wording then:

I told my dog to sit.
He stuck his tongue out and said, "No." [I think you could have more build up here. Does he do any actions to convince his dog to sit? Does he show him how to do it? That always amuses me, when the human does the dog trick to show the dog and then the dog just looks at them like they're crazy.]
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well," he said,
"you tell me when to eat,
you tell me when to sit, [I'd suggest 'shit' rather than sit just to add more humour and to keep building that tone and personality the dog has. Plus, he's already refused to sit and... I don't know. It just seems a little off.]
and you're always throwing sticks.
I fucking hate sticks. Stop throwing them. [Love the tone of the dog's voice. It's perfect.]
Who do you think you are,
calling yourself a master
when you can't even figure out the stove."
He paused for a moment,
then added, "Plus, your ears are weird. I don't respect them."
"I see," I muttered. "Do as you wish then." [Good, I like the ending. The conversation with the dog was really funny and very well delivered.]

So overall this is a really fun poem. I'm sure you could play with the wording a bit to make it better but even as it is, I like it. Feel free to ask questions and let me know if I interpreted it how you wrote it.

Heather xxx