Good-bye Chapter 4

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For all you who actually read this, thank you! I almost didn't finish it, but it bugged me knowing something wasn't complete q: soo here's the next chapter [:

Theology, finally!’ I thought as we picked up El.
“Is Hayden coming?” I asked her.
She looked at the floor of our van, “No, he’s not”
I just shrugged as I felt a dagger slip in my stomach, “Oh. Ok.”.
'He's probably just busy' I thought.
The only thing he ever did with us was go to Starbucks. He never talked to me at youth, and even this whole month we’d been dating he never held my hand, even though I’d freed it plenty of times as we walked together. I’d even hinted at them being cold, but no. The kid was so dense I couldn’t get anything without going for it myself. Even when I was at his house he never came to El’s room to talk to me. It seriously felt like a friend with a kissing benefits relationship because, honestly, that’s all we ever did. Taking my mind off of him, I turned to what El was saying.
"So I'm writing this book, I have the plot and everything figured out, except for the beginning." She told me about the plot and we mused over different beginnings.
"How about this: A group of us are somewhere, like at a park or getting something to eat, and the main girl walks by. She goes to school with them, but she's a transfer student and no one really knows her. One of the girls call out to her, cause their just that friendly, and invites her to sit with them. Thats how they become friends, and it just goes off that" El exclaimed excited.
"That would totally work! It would flow with everything else as well" I said immediately.
We continued talking about her book, and before we know it we were at the church.
Excitedly, I jumped out of the gold van after El. Everyone who went to theology loved it. It was from 6:30-8:30, and half of it was questions we came up with. The only downer was Alyssa came. It hurt seeing her, I could only imagine how much it hurt her.
As soon as El and I walked in the door, I was jumped on from behind. I turned around and saw probably one of the most petite, coolest, possibly prettiest people I’ve ever know, Marie. I grinned and gave her a hug.
“Hi Annie!” she exclaimed excitedly, like she usually did.
I smiled genuinely for the first time in ages, “Hey. Whoa! Your hair looks amazing”
She stroked her brown, forehead length bangs and went down into her shoulder blade length hair, “Thanks! I cut my bangs differently. I was so worried they wouldn’t come out right”
I smiled, “Well they look awesome”.
She smiled and was about to say something, but just then Nicky and Alyssa walked in. Alyssa and I made eye contact, but she looked away immediately. Nicky walked over to me and we hugged. Then Jaden walked in. He walked over to where Marie and I were and, for the first time in a long time, he hugged me.
“Man, you were right. She’s really ignoring you”. Marie commented after hugging Jaden.
He looked at Alyssa, “Yeah, she’s still pretty pissed”.
I shrugged, “It’s whatever”.
Jaden looked surprised at how much my words and tone were contradicted each other.
"It's okay" He tried to comfort me.
I smiled at his attempt, "Thanks, Jay".
He sighed, and Marie hugged me, "It'll be fine, you'll be friends again."
I shook my head, "She said she wanted to be friends again, nothing's changed"
Marie slapped my arm, "Hey. Like I said, it'll be fine. Just trust me on this, I have a feeling".
"Thanks" I said with a smile.
Marie knew about me and Hayden a day after everyone else found out; she was one person I had really wanted to tell, and, since cat was out of the bag, I told her.
She had surprised me saying, ‘That’s so cute! Like, normally it’d be weird, but since I know you two and your personalities it’s, like, adorable!’
"We should go upstairs and save seats," Jaden commented.
"Good idea!" Marie and I agreed, heading upstairs.
Am I really doing everything I can?’ I asked myself while sneaking a look at Alyssa in the middle of theology.
Every time I looked at her, something in me said, ‘Just ask her for forgiveness again, just one more time! Maybe something will happen’
Theology went well, and someone even brought mini-size chocolate bars; it was gone within seconds. You really can’t blame us, a group of 9 growing teenagers who all love chocolate with a passion.
Samantha gave me a ride home that night and, although it had only been two hours, I was worn out emotionally and ready for bed.
Day after day went by in the same routine. Seeing Alyssa for at least two hours five days out of the week drained me completely, but I started getting used to it as days turned into weeks.
"Hey! Do you wanna go to Starbucks in an hour or so?" Abi asked over facebook.
"Sure! You want to come over here or meet at Starbucks?" I asked.
"I'll go to your house and we can walk over to Starbucks." she replied.
She and I had started talking over facebook and our friendship was rebuilt, even better then it was before. Abi and I had this date planned for a long time; we had just been really busy so we could never do it.
“Hey, I need to tell you something” she said, looking at the cement as I closed to door to the house.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Hayden kissed me” she replied, looking at the floor.
I stopped walking. I could swear my heart stopped. We looked at each other for what felt like forever.
I knew he was over me, but I didn’t think he’d stoop this low’ I thought as I felt a heavy lead drop on my heart.
“When?” I asked.
“The pancake breakfast, a week ago”
“Who started it?”
“He did”
“How’d it happen?”
“We were playing hide-&-seek, Nathan was it. Hayden and I hid in the same place. We were really close together, and he started going in”
“You went for it to though”.
“Yes. Annie, please don’t be mad” she begged.
“Yeah. It's fine. He stopped liking me a while ago anyways. Are you two going out?" I asked, completely defeated.
"No, he said he didn't want to try it again, but he still likes me" she replied.
I forced a laugh, "We need to find a good guy to fall for. Hopefully not the same one".
She grinned, "Yeah, that'd be good. I'm really confused by him though, he kisses me, then says he doesn't want to go out!"
I looked at her, "Could we, um, not talk about him?"
Abi's head snapped up to look at mine, "Yeah! I'm so sorry."
I shrugged, "It wasn't really your fault, don't worry about it. I just don't want to talk about the guy who cheated on me, you know?"
She nodded, "Okay."
We walked in silence for a while, but it wasn't awkward. That was the one thing I loved about Abi, we could be silent for long amounts of time, but it was never awkward. It was just how our friendship was.
"Bye, love you sissy!" Abi said as we parted ways after drinking our Starbucks drink.
"Bye, love you to sistah" I replied with a small smile.
"Welcome back Annie!" My mom called out cheerfully from the kitchen.
I smiled at her cheerfulness, "Thanks! You need help with dinner?" I asked, walking over to the kitchen.
"Sure! Can you get the table ready? Dinner's almost ready." She replied.
"Yeah, of course." I said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before getting the table ready.
"How was Starbucks?" She asked.
"It was great! They have a new seasonal drink, I think you'd like it" I answered, blinking back my tears as I remembered what Abi had told me about Hayden.
"We'll have to go there soon and try it then!" she said with a wink before calling, "Dinner's ready!!"
"Don't hold me up, now, I can stand my own ground, I don't need your help, now, you will let me down, down down" I sang, lying in bed listening to Rise Against's, 'Prayer of the Refugee', and reading 'Mara, daughter of the Nile'. Finally, I finished the book, stopped the music, and turned my light off.
I had another dream about Alyssa that night. We were on swings at a park, laughing. Then Hayden walked by, and we both suddenly started fighting; calling each other names and calling him ‘ours’ while he was over flirting with Abi who appeared out of nowhere. It seemed to never end.
Last edited by Micheley on Mon May 09, 2011 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
& maybe it's true
We don't know what we have till we lose it
But maybe it's also true
We don't know what we're missing
Till we [find it]




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‘Theology, finally!’ I thought as we picked up El.
“Is Hayden coming?” I asked her.
She looked at the floor of our van, “No, he’s not”
I just shrugged as I felt a dagger slip in my stomach, “His loss”.
‘Probably cause I’m here. Jerk. Shouldn’t have asked me out if you don’t even want to hang out with me’ I thought, completely annoyed.
The only thing he ever did with us was go to Starbucks. He never talked to me at youth, and even this whole month we’d been dating he never held my hand, even though I’d freed it plenty of times as we walked together. I’d even hinted at them being cold, but no. The kid was so dense I couldn’t get anything without going for it myself. Even when I was at his house he never came to El’s room to talk to me. It seriously felt like a friend with a kissing benefits relationship because, honestly, that’s all we ever did. Taking my mind off of him, I turned to what El was saying.
We talked about random things on the way to church, and then we arrived. Excitedly, I jumped out of the gold van after El. Everyone who went to theology loved it. It was from 6:30-8:30, and half of it was questions we came up with. The only downer was Alyssa came. I didn’t mind seeing her, but I had to be careful not to say anything that’d get on her nerves. As much as I’d stopped caring, I didn’t want to completely piss her off. On top of that, a lot of my friends were her friends. It was almost like they had to choose between us since we no longer stayed in the same group because if I came she’d leave. But honestly, I stopped caring.
'It’s a free country. I can go anywhere I want to if I feel like it. If Alyssa didn’t like talking with me, she could leave. I’d just find out who preferred me and who preferred Alyssa.' I thought. this is not being fair to your other friends. You shouldn’t make them choose, you should just suck it up and make it work out so it isn’t so awkward for them. Again, I get the impression that her character is extremely selfish.
As soon as El and I walked in the door, I was jumped on from behind. I turned around and saw probably one of the most petite, coolest, possibly prettiest people I’ve ever know, Marie. I grinned and gave her a hug.
“Hi Annie!” she exclaimed excitedly, like she usually did.
I smiled genuinely for the first time in ages, “Hey. Whoa! Your hair looks amazing”
She stroked her brown, forehead length bangs and went down into her shoulder blade length hair, “Thanks! I cut my bangs differently. I was so worried they wouldn’t come out right”
I smiled, “Well they look awesome”.
She smiled and was about to say something, but just then Nicky and Alyssa walked in. Alyssa and I made eye contact, but she looked away immediately. Nicky walked over to me and we hugged. Then Jaden walked in. He walked over to where Marie and I were and, for the first time in a long time, he hugged me. Usually he’d hang out with Marie and a lot of people thought he had a thing for her, but the people who were close to him knew he was still in pain and not anywhere near over me.
“Man, you were right. She’s really ignoring you”. Marie commented after hugging Jaden.
He looked at Alyssa, “Yeah, she’s still pretty pissed”.
I shrugged, “It’s whatever”.
Jaden looked surprised at how much my tone indicated I had really stopped caring.
Marie knew about me and Hayden a day after everyone else found out; she was one person I had really wanted to tell, and, since cat was out of the bag, I told her.
She had surprised me saying, ‘That’s so cute! Like, normally it’d be weird, but since I know you two and your personalities it’s, like, adorable!’
Then I told her about Alyssa, ‘Don’t bother with her, she’s just jealous. She had, what, two years before he moved on? Just forget about her and focus on your boyfriend’.
She was really the one who encouraged me to forget about Alyssa, and if she wanted me back as a friend then she could do something about it because I had done everything I could. She was the one who told me it was a free country; hang out with anyone I wanted, I shouldn’t be avoiding other people just because Alyssa’s there; it might give them a wrong impression.
I agreed with her. I was sick of acting like the world revolved around Alyssa because I wanted to be friends with her again. But still, something tugged on me.
‘Am I really doing everything I can?’ I asked myself while sneaking a look at her in the middle of theology, ‘Yeah, I did. I’m done now. If she wants something, she can ask me. I’m done.’
But still, every time I looked at her, something in me said, ‘Just ask her for forgiveness again, just one more time! Maybe something will happen’
I’m sure ‘hope’ was talking.
Theology went well, and someone even brought mini-size chocolate bars; it was gone within seconds. You really can’t blame us, a group of 9 growing teenagers who all love chocolate with a passion.
Samantha gave me a ride home that night and, although it had only been two hours, I was worn out emotionally and ready for bed.
Day after day went by in the same routine. Seeing Alyssa for at least two hours five days out of the week drained me completely, but I started getting used to it as days turned into weeks.
Three weeks passed. As if my life wasn’t already depressing it‘s pretty annoying how she thinks her life sucks so bad. You keep telling us this. Over and over. , I was told something that killed me inside even more only a month, one week, and three days after Hayden had asked me out.
Abi was at my house and we were going to walk to Starbucks together. She and I had started talking again and our friendship was rebuilt, even better then it was before. Abi and I had this date planned for a long time; We had just been really busy so we could never do it.
“Hey, I need to tell you something” she said, looking at the cement as I closed to door to the house.
I wasn’t surprised. She usually did, and it was usually about Hayden or how crappy her life was.
“What’s up?” I asked.
‘Did he tell you he loves you again?’ I thought sarcastically and bitterly.
Hayden had told Abi he loved her about a week after he and I had started dating. She told me three days after he told her, but I knew it was to make her feel better. He was just that sweet. To bad he wasn't really thinking about me when he told her.
“Hayden kissed me” she replied in an almost victorious tone, looking at me in the eye.


I kinda saw the ending coming. Although I thought he would cheat on her with Alyssa instead. An interesting twist, but I’m not sure how far you can take it. It will just be a bunch more drama and blaming and personally I’m not into that. I think this storyline has a lot more potential to me exciting and risky, and you’re narrating it in a very simple way. It can be so much more.
I suggest re-vamping the plot, so that there are even more twists and turns and conflicts, because the last few chapters have felt pretty boring to me.
I hope this helps you! It’s a great storyline, I hope you continue it.
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk



Always do what you are afraid to do.
— E. Lockhart, We Were Liars