The Other Side

Author's note:This is a sensitive subject, but it's been on my heart lately. If you are for abortion than reading this may upset you. I wrote this poem for NaPoWriMo, but I wanted some reviews on it. hope it's ok that I posted it here.

A kick here
A fist there

You’ll never know
What it’s like to be
My baby

You’ll be a cluster of cells
An interruption to my life
An insignificant dismal

I wouldn’t be able to love you
Nor hold, kiss, hug you.
Yet, I will not let someone else have you
I, selfishly, just won’t give birth to you

I am no mother
A baby killer
Too important to be weighed down by you

I have too many important plans
That just
Don’t involve you

A heartbeat song
A heartbeat gone

Rascalover wrote:
I have too many important plans
That just
Don’t involve you

A heartbeat song
A heartbeat gone

I especially like the last stanza, even though it is only two lines. It gives your whole poem a dramatic ending -which I like. Afterall, the audience always remembers the end of a performance the best. As you can see, there was one error that I picked out in the second to last stanza, and I'm not sure if the word 'have' is what you would have inserted, but that is what made the most sense to me. Over all, this poem was very good and you did an excellent job conveying your opinion of abortion through a more creative way than just stating it. Keep it up! This story deserves a big 'ole like!

I thought this poem was really well written. You also managed to write it in a way that does not offend people that are against abortion, like myself. You portrayed your message in a very mature and creative way. I also really loved the ending. Those last two lines were really powerful.

My only small suggestion is:

Nor hold, kiss,or hug you

I think you should add the "or" in there just so that it makes more sense

Overall, really great poem!

Very well written and good job! You conveyed very well what you believe.

I wouldn’t be able to love you
Nor hold, kiss, hug you.
Yet, I will not let someone else have you
I, selfishly, just won’t give birth to you

I am no mother
A baby killer
Too important to be weighed down by you

My favorite two stanza's.
Keep Writing,
~FW~