Resentment

Resentment
Festers in the heart like
An open wound
Tearing apart
Everything
You once knew
And loved
And cared about.

All I know is
This is not
The way it should be.

When I think
Of how it could be
I feel
Sad.

I don't really know
How this happened

And I don't really remember
Everything that
Took place.

I just know
A gap has opened up
Destroying the bridge
That can't be replaced.

I quite like this poem! It's interesting the way that you chose to break the lines off in an unusual manner. It gave the poem an interesting feel when reading it both in my head and aloud. Good work!
If you have the chance, please review one of mine. Thanks.

Nice poem

One critisism I frequently get from other people is that I get caught up in describing emotions, and don't have any context or tangible imagery. I think that applies to this poem, though I feel a little hypocritical saying so. It's just something to think about.

Also, some of the line and stanza breaks are excessive. Try to pause and go a little deeper in each section. Unlike spontaneous emptions like pain or anger, resentment is a lurking emotion, so you can dwell and stew a little with your writing.

Keep up the good work!

Nice job! Interesting poem. But I'm not sure about the way you broke off the lines. It's interesting for sure, but it didn't really give to the poem. Simply distracts the readers from what your writing. But other than that, awesome job.

This was really interesting! I think the lines are slightly cut off at awkward times, but it doesn't take away any of it's emotion or anything

Resentment
Festers in the heart like
An open wound
Tearing apart
Everything
You once knew
And loved
And cared about.

All I know is
This is not
The way it should be. I like this stanza!

When I think
Of how it could be
I feel
Sad. :(

I don't really know
How this happened Try adding a period here.

And I don't really remember if you add a period above, make sure to cut the 'and' here.
Everything that
Took place.

I just know
A gap has opened up
Destroying the bridge Ohhhh this stanza is cool.
That can't be replaced. EPIC ending!

I loved this! The only main thing is probably moving the lines around a little, but other then that, it's really cool! It has a great message to it! Well done and keep up the good work!

I like the meaning behind the piece although getting to the grammatical parts of it the whole thing doesn't really make sense. The structure is well, actually there isn't any. And the rhythm is really off. But, it's all about the meaning and it has a lot of that. Keep writing!

This sounds very meaningful! Well written!

~FW~

Hmmm, very mysterious -- I like that

This is a good poem you have here. I liked it a lot. Although I would say:

I feel
Sad

It was a nice line in a good stanza but I think maybe you could come up with a better word to describe how you felt rather than 'sad'.

When I'm reviewing, I tend not to talk about nitpicks and grammar because I'm not all that good at it myself. Yours seemed okay, but I don't go into it in detail .

However, when I do review, I do tell the writer how much of an impact the piece had.
So I'll tell you now, that the piece was great for impact and the mystery of it kept me guessing right to the end - I still am, in a good way

Overall: great piece, hope to read more.

I liked the poem but the fractured lines took away from the emotion and I felt that there should have been more imagery used.