As Much As I Love You?

It began with a “Hello.”
As many great loves do;
However, this was different.
I’d always somehow knew.

We had always been destined,
To never, ever part.
Or so I had thought back then,
My poor vulnerable heart.

Now there is no self-pity,
Only bittersweet tears.
And this consuming sadness,
That blankets my worst fears.

Now the world bleeds together,
The colors no longer bright.
And still I try to stay strong.
A battle, day and night.

So wherever you are now,
Hear my sorrowful cry,
My love still travels with you.
My heart has just run dry.

And every day I wonder,
Do you regret this too?
Do you still love me now,
As much as I love you?

Wow. I really, really enjoyed this poem. The rhymes were clever and fitting, and the words perfectly exemplified your feelings (at least, I think they did). This poem really touched me. Thank you for reaching inside me heart and letting me know that someone else feels like this once in a while. Thank you.

And every day I wonder,
Do you regret this too?
Do you still love me now,
As much as I love you?

That was the perfect ending. However, I would put a comma after the third line, instead of a question mark, because the fourth line really completes the third line's question and too many question marks can get a little repetitive.

But overall, it was great.

Thanks Gracie! I really appreciate it! I made those changes... glad I did! :3

Hi there BUDDY!
Well, this poem looks great, and it is simply fabulous. Go Rob Pattinson!

I love it, honestly. It's really relatable and the feeling is clearly shown. I can't find any punctuation or anything that's wrong with this poem. I'd like to hear more from you; keep writing.

I really enjoyed this! Well done! You used a lot of discriptive words! I honestly feel as if I'm in your thoughts! You are very talented! Keep up the good work

Hello again! I'm back for your plea #2.

This one was a bit different, and I might actually like it better than the other one I read! There were some metaphors you included which probably bought me over. And I'll mention them in hopes you'll work with them more. Again, great job with your rhythm!

I've noticed your style with poems is to start a bit unhappy and then end it with this sliver of hope and I LOVE it. It's so cool. I absolutely enjoy it. Maybe it's my love of happy endings? But it's just so cool.

Like the last poem, there's this feel of lengthening something that doesn't need to take so long in describing. Throwing in images and metaphors will do astounding things to your poem. It'll take away from the simplicity of a little bit, but it'll add so much more meat to your poem. Metaphors and images are ways the reader can relate to what the speaker is trying to say. Much like with fiction writing, we want to engross our reader with the piece. Hook them in and keep them wanting more through the end.

And this consuming sadness,
That blankets my worst fears.

The colors no longer bright.

Now the world bleeds together,
...
And still I try to stay strong.
A battle, day and night.

These are the metaphors I mentioned before. They're different pictures but can easily be tied together with your poem. I think if you built on these pictures (be sure to incorporate all six five human senses), your poem would be so much more powerful in delivering its message.

And that's really the only suggestion I can make, much like on your last poem. You have lovely ideas, and you definitely know how to tell us about them. All we need to work on now is to show them, and practice will get you there. Definitely consider editing this! Seriously, those metaphors I pointed out got me really excited for your poem's potential. So much you can do!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

This poem is really inspiring!!!
I love it!
Keep writing the amazing stuff!!
HAPPY REVIEW DAY!!!

Hey there! Let me first say that I'm not a very god poet, but here goes a review anyways!

Your poem was very emotional and that is something I believe is the most important part of a poem. You bring your images to life. It was a beautifully written poem!

As for the flow of it, I found it was alright. Something like that you almost need to read to yourself, and when I did it flowed very well.

This was a very well done poem and I really enjoyed it! Keep it up!

I love this poem! <3
I think that the emotion and imagery behind it is brillant. I could definetly feel the saddness that the narrator was feeling. Great work!
There was just one place where I felt the flow was a little off:

We had always been destined,
To never, ever part.
Or so I had thought back then,
My poor vulnerable heart.

I think that the third line has one too many words, and maybe you should add another to the second.

I also loved the last stanza, along with this one:

Now the world bleeds together,
The colors no longer bright.
And still I try to stay strong.
A battle, day and night.

Great imagery!

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. I think you have some great talent

This poem is absolutely seamless. Each line flows perfectly into the next. Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im running out of good comments to write under each poem..I gotta say its a precious love poem to write for a loved one.
good work. keep it up and maybe someday you'll become a great poet like me.