Love To Be.

And i'd like to believe that this love will be.
So you can sing sweet songs to me as I fall asleep.
I hope you know your words capture me.
With a millon memories.
Countless picture perfect moments.
So you aware you have a smile to die for.
And I do believe this love can be.
For just you and me.

And i'd like to believe that this love will be. Capitlize the "I" in I'd and put a comma after "be" instead of a period
So you can sing sweet songs to me as I fall asleep. This line is a little long
I hope you know your words capture me.
With a millon memories.
Countless picture perfect moments.
So you aware you have a smile to die for. I think this was just a typo but change the first "you" to "you're"
And I do believe this love can be.
For just you and me.

Okay, the thing I noticed most was the awkward rhyme scheme and the offbeat meter to it; some of the lines are too long, too short, or contain words that don't flow. Also, you need a comma after every line except "as I fall asleep" and "perfect memories", oh and of course, the last line. Other than that, I really liked the short, simple idea that comes along with this poem and the sweet feelings in it. Keep writing

It's so pretty. Though the awkward rhyme scheme is a bit strange. :/ But I do like it a lot.

hellooo
nice poem! I like it..I don't have any criticism for you because the others aready took care of that
I'm just gonna quote my favorite part XD

I hope you know your words capture me.
With a millon memories.
Countless picture perfect moments.

nice work!!!
-qaralynn-

And i'd like to believe that this love will be. Okay in this line the i in i'd should be I'd
So you aware you have a smile to die for. I think this is a typo but it shold be you're instead of you.
And i'd like to believe that this love will be.
And I do believe this love can be. The line above and this line are a little repetative.


the whole rhyme scheme of the poem didn't seem to workout, but overall I like the meaning!!
Keep it up!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY REVIEW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

So. When you write poetry or anything else for that matter, please don't forget to use proper grammar and punctuation. Like capitalizing things that should be and knowing when to properly use a period in poetry. Don't be afraid of the comma: poetry isn't like creative fiction and commas are used more frequently than periods (or full-stops, as I like to call them) in poems. Periods in poems make the piece very choppy and abrupt, and that's not good at all.

Yours,
Lavvi