Hello! This was amazing! It was heartbreaking. The flow and character was all there. I loved the depth and emotion you breathed into this song. I was near tears at the end. The stanza's were nicely separated and the rhythm was nice. My favorite lines were: "I never look down; I can only see the stars. You were never a fall; you were one of those stars." Lovely phrase. Great job!
Got YWS? "No one can arrive from being talented alone,work transform talent into genius" - Anna Pavlova
Hey there. Overall, this flowed well, but there were a couple of lines here and there that were a touch too long or short that disrupted the flow. One of these lines is "If we’re all so young". It's missing two syllables.
Another thing I noticed was the punctuation, or the lack of it. Lyrics follow the same grammatical conventions as regular writing, and having proper punctuation would make your lyrics easier to read and understand. Right now, a lot of the lines blur into one another since there's no punctuation to separate them.
You also had a number of misspellings scattered throughout this. I suggest that, in the future, you proofread your work more carefully before posting it.
I like it! It's a little long, and personally, I enjoy reading/writing poems that say a lot through a little words. The rhyme scheme was great, the story was great! Keep writing! I'll keep my eyes out!
I really liked this song. It was really sweet and sad and romantic and I just really liked it. None of the rhymes in here were cheesy, which can be a real problem when writing songs. Overall this was just a really great song.
